Hi y'all, I need some love advice™

If u want here is the story/context lol

TL;DR
Gurl with strict family is trying to text the love of her life, but she sucks at keeping secrets, and is a wreck ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧

North coast of america, rural area at a boarding school before the pandemic. It was 85 degrees out and VERY hot. I was meeting some new people seeing as it was the begining of the year, and as I was meeting people, I met him. (Well not really y e t but allow me to elaborate). Idk what it was about him but for some reason i like him ( not necessarily in the romantic way y e t, but please allow me to go further). Thus, begun the saga of me trying to find every little exscuse to talk to him. What I found out was that he was extremely talented, sweet and smart. An absolute WEEB and nerd, and he had a very sarcastic sense of humor that often came of as mean. (We will come back to this later) Acouple months later with various different encounters, and I fall HARD for this dude. Soon, the quarantine began and I had to travel to europe for my family and he had to go to another continent aswell. We texted a lot and eventually I wound up telling him how I felt, and he returned my feeling. For a while things were good, I had my friends and a goofy, smart person who cared about me a lot. However, I have a strict family, and something happened over the summer that absolutely wrecked me, because of my strict family. Since he is not from where I am, my family is kinda xenophobic of people who are not specifically from where I am. In addition, becuase of the sarcastic sense of humor he has a lot of people don't like him, including my siblings. Also I'm not exactly allowed to talk to boys till I'm like.. 20. So, I start texting him in secret, which started to take a toll on my emotional health because my mom was constantly checking my phone to see if I'm lying about something. I told him this and he stayed supportive the whole time, and respected my boundaries and situation. But I didn't want to be a burden so eventually I told him I couldn't keep lying anymore, and if I ever want to see him again telling my family is absolutely NOT an option. I blocked him and I haven't heard form him since, which I'm partly relieved about but also... I miss him ... A lot. But it's so hard to keep secrets now cuz of what happened over the summer. I want to tell him I want to keep talking but I think that would be unfair, what should I do?

If u made it this far thx u sm for listening to this rant, I really hate being one of those girls that talk abt how much they miss their bf but I truly, do not have anyone else to talk abt this with, so thx u (´∩｡• u •｡∩`). Also, since he's such a massive seen I wouldnt be surprised if he used this app, if u r idk send me the drawing if the purple cat I drew.

Sorry for the typos, my english isn't that great :)

If I were in your situation, I would wait until I reach 20 yrs old. For now, I would distract myself by finding a new hobby or things doing things that interest me. "Patience is virtue", they say, so just hang on. You should inform 'him' about your decision that you're going to contact 'him' again when you get older. Based on my understanding, you cut your connections with 'him' in a not-so-nice way so it is wise to apologize first and then tell him all the things you wanted to say.

As a human(assuming that your age is below 17), waiting for 3 years is definitely tedious. So if you can't wait for a few years, it is better to talk with your family. You can make a deal(like you will improve your grades in exchange for talking to 'him' or you will do chores in exchange for contacting 'him' every weekends). Remember, "NO PAIN, NO GAIN".

I hope this has helped you even a bit.