there's been a lot of distance between me and my best friend recently, we had been in a relationship and we broke up a while ago. things have been tough and i really depend on them. a scary amount, probably. we haven't really been talking and i feel like im losing them. i feel like a failure. my grades were poor this semester and my mind has just been telling me to give up and die. i have very very low self worth and im utterly consumed by self hatred. i need some sort of distraction while i seek help.

anyone know what to do? do i look for a new hobby?

Seek independence. Use this time to focus on yourself. Look inward.

I can understand the feeling of depending on someone a bit too much, but perhaps this is the best. You could try depending more on yourself and get yourself into good habits. Don't focus on your grades that you can't change now. Focus on what you can change for the time being. Work out a little if possible, work your brain creatively, read, draw, crochet, and if you really need someone to talk to, reach out to those you know who would listen. If you have trouble finding someone, reply to this and I'll be that person. I wish you the best of life. Hang in there

Do exactly as FindMuck says. Be proud of who you are and comfortable enough with yourself to be dependent on yourself. It's entirely unhealthy to depend on others for things such as self worth. That comes from you and you alone.