I don't know if I want help... Maybe Just to vent somewhere not so public...
I have schizophrenia..Since I was little but then I didn't really know what has been happening. My parents don't know and I am scared to tell them. My first time when I thought "I wanna die" was when I was 4. My first suicide attempt was at 8. My father almost suffocated me with a pillow around that time. Since then I hear voices, see thing like when on drugs, after trying to hang myself I started seeing my own corpse rotting. But not at this age. My body when I was a child. Later on I developed Cotard's syndrome. Having over 13 suicide attempts, no dreams or goals and have never wanted to live, now at 18 I don't know what to do. I used to have straight A's but now. I Wonder if I can even finish my Last year.. And no idea what to do after it... Help me. I need some advice. Or a reason to try... I feel so lonely and detatched.like this is not my world.. Like when I die I would actually finally come home to a person I've been waiting to meet..

If you know you're schizophrenic than you know all of these thoughts and visions aren't real. You should probably see a doctor.