im 19, student, and is considered handsome by many. i have a certain vibe about myself too, maybe the way i speak or do certain things. people may think im doing well in life etc. but in truth, im a loser.. i slack at home most of the time, never worked before and just fap all day. i know i have to work harder in my studies and make money, but i cant get myself to it. all i can be proud of is my half ass looks that gets me compliments here and there. fucking hate myself tbh. i feel like a fraud too. i dont want people to like me because they will definitely be disgusted by the truth.

sorry, just ranting.. would be nice if someone replies, it could be anything at all. thanks.

Hey Anon. Did you asked yourself about why are you having that much trouble to get your things together? I mean i guess your appearance is not a problem at all in your life, but as you said yourself "i don't want people to like me because they will definitely be disgusted by the truth". Try to meditate and think about possible answers. We may know the answer or get close to it when we are honest with ourselves. Also, if you feel bad about your current situation, try a routine. Write down some things you would like to do on a day, like reading 10 pages of a book, learn a new skill (draw, paint, programming, languagues, cooking, etc), just start doing something step by step. At the end of the day check if you've we able to do at least one of them. Some days will be better, but at least you tried! Try this routine and taught yourself discipline. I know it's not easy at all, i'm also having trouble with this nowadays. Some days i wake up and feel inspired and some days i just want to sleep all day and it's ok! I hope this helps and make you feel better!!

yes it helps and made me feel better, thank you. yea, i should have a to-do list for the day, even if they are super simple tasks. maybe i should try languages, i want to learn korean/japanese. wish me luck ~

Hey Anon. Then go ahead! Try this for a few weeks or days and update your post based on your results :) I'll be checking for reply's. May luck be on your side.

Well, impostor syndrome can be a bummer. My advice is not to focus on the expectations that others (and yourself) have placed upon you. It doesn't matter whether you have high potential, low potential, or no potential; in the end you're free to live whatever life you want for yourself.

I've felt this exact same way too, people sometimes think you have it all but we want so desperately to not let them down. Because deep down you feel like the image everyone has of you isn't the image you have of yourself.

>>6 I guess that's unavoidable.

Let's put it this way: let's imagine that each person is a polyhedron, and each of its faces is one facet of who they are as a person. Some people are pyramids, some people are cubes, and some are fucking icosahedrons; but everyone has at least some depth to them.

Now, the way I see it, you could never really expect to see all of another person's faces at the same time. At best, if you get real close, you can see clearly like half of the faces, and maybe some others kind of smudged by the shade. Most of the time you'll just see one of the polyhedron's faces (maybe even two if you happen to glance from a corner) like if it was a paper-thin, vaguely misshapen polygon, and you'll either assume there's no further depth or not care enough to get closer and find it. And then, of course, there are people that aren't even looking and say that your polyhedron is actually a potato, because they know a potato when they see one, and how dare you be a potato and not a polyhedron like everyone else.

But even then, I don't think anyone can accurately see all of their own faces. Going back to the analogy because I'm already knee-high in it, seeing your own polyhedron from the inside kind lets you see all of your faces at the same time, but since you're looking from a different perspective, you get a different kind of distortion than anyone looking from the outside. Sometimes you're a bit blind to some of your bad traits, and some times you're a bit blind to some of your good ones, but there will always be at least a couple of faces that you'll see as blurry and kind of misshapen.

TL;DR: Everyone is complicated and figuring out other people (and even yourself) is hard. There will always be some discrepancy between the "you" other people see and the "you" you see, and probably the real one is some sort of combination between the two.

Corollary: If you feel like the people that are close to you aren't seeing some sides of you that you find important, let them know how you feel. Opening up can be scary, but it usually pays off.