Hello everyone I just wanted to hear your opinion and have a advice on what should I do. The next years that have passed I been lost from everything around me feeling as if I dont feel anything. I keep smiling but sometimes there this pain feeling in me that wants to say something or waiting to be free from the chains I have but can do nothing and when someone asks if everythings is ok you keep smiling an still say your fine but your not....Just dropping one tear every night and fall asleep and wake up everyday with the same thing...

at least you can smile lmao, i suppose that the best answer is start again over, if your burden isnt higher you can start with a smile, sounds simple but in your case could work

TL;DR start over again, get hobbies, friends, and think possitive (?

I'd recommend trying to identify if there are any specific causes to these feelings and be introspective for a bit. If it's not something "rational" and is just a blanket feeling, which seems like what you've described then you may want to consider looking in to therapy or counselling options - talking to a professional can seem scary or it my just feel like your problem isn't worth the time, but that's normal and encourages that it may be a good next step for you.