I’m 24 & have never had a girlfriend, but like, I’ve never tried or even been able to picture myself with anyone else. I’ve always been one to have mini crushes, but I never actually liked them enough to do anything or realistically see potential. It just kind of always felt like a subconscious thing that happened independent of what I thought or “really felt”.
I guess, it’s been getting to me more and more as the years go by. I didn’t care a while ago, but as I age nothing changes, so it’s starting to feel like it’s just what I am and that I’ll never have someone like that. I mean, being alone temporarily is one thing, but the idea of not being capable of having someone is terrifying to me. The saddest part is that it doesn’t feel like it’s a flaw in me that requires fixing, but just what I am, if that makes sense. Like, I think I’ve been very honest with myself, and I’m aware of many of the problems or issues I have as a person, but when it comes to the parts that truly matter the most when it comes to relationships/connections, it feels honest and “me” and just what I am.

I'm just Envy, a random person trying to groom people over the internet*

It doesn't mean that if everyone is "in love" you too should experience the same. We all have different cases, different timeline and different paces. Who, where, when and why; the most difficult of them is when is the right time to love, might be the right person, in the right place, and in right reason but not in right season. "love will knock on your door one day, and it will knock with a bang."

I think it's obvious that that envy is someone who just used my username,but you didn't do it right. I have a unique code next to my name,and I always end every reply with a smiley face. Nice try,but y'know.

:)...

I agree,E45.


:)...

As a 21 year old who has always felt the same way, I can understand your worries and fears. Being alone and the thought of being alone can eat away at your soul, espeically when such a fear starts to become or feel like it is becoming reality.
It is human nature to want love, to be loved by another but at the same time to fear the very thing we want. I am not saying this is an accurate descritpion of your situation but I do believe you still have a fear, a fear of being alone forever. You can look around you and see happy couples who have been together since their high school years and people who found love so quickly it boggles the mind. However, that is sadly how it can work at times. Some people find love with the easiest road, so smooth and straight they couldn't miss it if they tried and others, well it can take time, effort and a lot of searching before one finds it. I have known some who never found love until their late 50's.
I don't believe you have a flaw, just a fear, and and understandable one at that. However please note two things if you will. You should not jump into a relationship out of fear and you should not simply give up on it either. The first I do not get the sense that you would take an action like such; but doing so will only lead to a painful road of fighting, bitterness and a cold heart. There will be no true love in the realationship and thus nothing to ground it, nothing inthe foundation to keep it standing. However on the latter, if you simply give up on love all otherther, give into believing that you will always be alone, you might just miss the person who comes into your life who can ignite your soul and turn your whole world around. You might be so closed off to the idea that when they arrive you will find yourself oblivious to it.
My best advise is to just be yourself; that is what one can love most about another, being themself. If you need space and time, take that space and time, if you feel like you need to get out and explore, do so, if like you need to put yourself out there jsut a little bit (i recommend it, never know who might be wating for someone just like you out there) then do so. Or if you just want to hang back for a while and work on yourself, you can do that too, though eventually you might need to put yourself out int the world a little bit.