First heartbreak hurts. I couldn't eat and sleep. She meant a lot to me. I am dying inside. I am still choosing if I am gonna kill myself or not.

Why it feels like that I don't know. All I can say is that I've been there too. Why she broke your heart I don't know but the pain of having your heart broken I do know. If you want to talk some more email me at deftermoon.dollars@gmail.com
All I can say on fixing that pain is this there are some things reasoning can't fix so you'll have to let time do the work. It'll get better just give it time.