I wouldn't know what's been happening in your life Kuze, but I think I know how you're feeling. I was suicidal for a long time too - it's really tough. I’m sorry that you’re in this situation and that you can’t speak to friends and loved ones. But there are ways that you can get help. Have you tried calling a suicide hotline? The people who working there will understand your situation and they can help you. Or if that’s hard, then consult your doctor.
I understand that you’re having a hard time now and that it seems like it your life isn’t going to become better. I know how that feels like. I don’t know what has happened, but I know it feels like no one cares and supports you, and most likely that is not true. Poor familial relationships can be rebuilt, and you can reforge or make new friendships. There will always be people who love you and want to help you.
https://alaska.providence.org/services/s/suicide-prevention<- Please try reading this and consider calling the local support lines, or this number: 1-800-273-8255.
Please don’t go through with this. I’m here for you if you want to talk.
