just a question that came to mind recently. why do I feel as if trying to have fun just like everyone else isn't for me, but you have to live up to a social standard that comes with growing up? but growth is found deep inside. age moves on whether you like it or not. idk

That's what's instilled into you as you grow up. I'm easily able to say "screw you" to social standards because when I was younger I was always not included and so eventually I came to realize that there was no reason I should try and get people to accept me. I've seen tons of anime and I still haven't left school yet. By that I mean I'm still young enough to be attending school. My question to you is why do you feel like you have to "grow up"? And who determined what "growing up" means? You should just stick to what's right to you and the people that are worth keeping around will still be around. Sorry this must seem like a lecture. I just don't really understand why people might feel required to meet social standards. Just decide what you want and do that. Though people also tend to tell me I don't think enough so it always confuses them how I'm so booksmart and streetsmart. I think that the simple way to think about things is the best way. If you're not a bad person and you think something is right then I think it's right. Again I'm sorry if this sounds like a lecture. Growth is ambiguous and it is different from person to person. Not everybody grows to enjoy the same things.

Hey there I'm 26 years old and I hope my experience as an adult can help sort your confusion. Now the thing is when people describe to as an adult it's to meet their expectations, of you to do better. The thing is we will get better through times of learning so don't let people rush you to be this adult they're hoping you to become. You will notice when you messed up as an adult and shouldn't be a child having fun vs adult having fun. Young starts to watch us and eventually we have to straighten our act to teach them . We can sometimes be wrong and extreme but be aware of the young around you to not learn the negative. Kids or young catch on quickly and that's the thing we want them to learn the right and good things in life.