I am currently in a 3 year relationship, we are very loving. I am very fragile and break down easy. But I have a problem. I can't control my emotions, my emotions always explodes in the heat of the moment. When my emotions explode, I always say hurtful things. After the argument when i calm down I will regret. My boyfriend always compromise to my behavior, but I dont want this to continue. I know one can compromise for a while but not forever.


What are good advise for me to control my emotions?

I understand, OP. Let me tell you this first; your emotional outburst isn't a 'problem'. Don't take it in a negative way. There are millions out there who are sensitive like you, myself included.

People like us may get offended or hurt easily causing us to have emotional outbursts which may sometimes deeply hurt our loved ones too. Although, it's good thing in a way that you are honest with your emotions.

As for the advice, I'd say be calm for a second. Everytime someone says something that hurts you or pisses you off, and you feel the urge to swear at them or retort, try to take a deep breath reminding yourself 'your anger isn't worth it'. This would help you to calm down.

If the other party is someone close, you can be relieved by reminding yourself that you trust this person and the person trusts you as well so the argument would end well and even if it doesn't, you can fix things with them eventually. If the other party is some stranger or someone not close or important to you, you can be relieved by reminding yourself that this person isn't worth your time and you shouldn't waste your energy on them because such people will always come and go.

The next step is to think rationally. Think what the other person has said to you. Was it an insult? Was it a pointless comment? Or was it a valid statement that unintentionally hurt you? After you've sorted that out, think about your emotions. Once again, it it's someone that doesn't matter to you, don't bother thinking about it and try to ignore. It's coz they say ''ignorance is bliss''. Keep negativity out of your life. If it's really something that should be dealt with, calm yourself down, think of a valid statement and reply. Try to express that you don't care. This isn't about pride. The fact that you said you regret things later after arguing shows that. So don't worry about that because strangers aren't worth your time.

Now, if it's someone you care about and you don't wanna hurt them unintentionally, think of the statement that triggered your emotions. Try to understand your emotions. Think if it's really necessary to retort. Come up with a valid statement. Then proceed to discuss calmly.

I know this sounds like a lot but I'm no therapist yet it still helped me a lot. There are countless blogs on the internet to help people with anger management issues but what I wrote was from personal experience. It would feel like a real long process at first and you will have a lot of trouble trying to control your emotions at first but gradually, you'll get used to it. Trust your loved ones. They'll support you. And remember to stay calm and always be positive. :)

I'm sorry if I sounded rude somewhere. I know this thread wouldn't help much but if you have any other problems, you can reply here and I'll try my best to help. ^-^