I want to break the ice about kinky stuff.

So yes, I am kinky, very much so. I might be the most romantic person on earth, someone who wants to talk about everything and expects an honest answer.

Yet at the same time, I've been locked into chains, and I couldn't help myself but enjoy that.

I never got why such a freedom-loving person such as me enjoys being restrained. May it be that contrast, being freedom-loving and experiencing the feeling of having no freedom at all? It came as a total surprise when I first allowed it to be done to me.

What are your thoughts?

Because you're freely expressing what you enjoy, its a type of freedom in itself.

I'm not unfamiliar with the feeling :3
and here's how I see/experience it.

What you're feeling is complete trust; specifically in the person who will be unchaining you when you've had your fill.

It's not often we get to feel complete trust in something, not even in ourselves. Being involved in a bsdm lifestyle means the others you're involved with know the deal. Because this lifestyle crosses so many lines, the borders that are placed are clear, understood, and respected.

There has to be trust, otherwise you won't have the same positive experience with it. When you don't trust the person you're involved with, that's when one might say your freedom is being taken. But people like that get weeded out of communities-

Without a disciplined partner, those rules might be broken, and then you won't feel you can safely and freely put yourself in that position again. It would take a long time to be able to express this part of you again..

But if anyone make a habit of breaking that trust with others, of taking their freedom, of crossing those very real and communicated boundaries of consent- then they're usually removed from the community- Firstly,

The trust comes in knowing your boundaries will be respected, and secondly, knowing your needs will be met as they arise. Even something as simple as someone keeping you in chains only a few minutes after you used a safe-word. That few minutes can be traumatizing, and could remove all the trust you have in someone, and could cause you to ignore your true desires out of fear. Thats loss of freedom.

What do you think?

For me it's sort of a power/control thing? For example, I have a weird fear of mirrors - seeing my face's reflection just makes me anxious in a way I can't really describe. But I like using a mirror to visualize sex acts. So for me, it's like taking control of something that I'm usually afraid of, within the boundaries of what I deem comfortable. I can keep going if I want, and I can stop whenever I want, and that feels safe and good.

For you, maybe choosing to have your freedom restrained is a way of safely experiencing that fear (if you would call it a fear?). You can control how strongly you're restrained, how long you're restrained, etc., so that might be what translates into the sexual satisfaction.

I might just be projecting lol, but like omverse I'd be curious to know what you think!

It's good that we can talk about this at all. I definitely wouldn't come forward with that theme in any forum.

I agree it's a power/control thing, at least in my case. In my normal life I'm a control-freak (I accidentally broke someone's nose who thought it would be a fun idea to sneak up onto me for a surprise, for example).

So I'm normally scared of being restrained, and letting someone do it I trust allows me to experience it in a safe way.

Since one of my hobbies is actually lockpicking, we make games out of that. My friend buys some new lock or some other restraint, and my job is to free myself or "enjoy" my non-freedom for a while, which is the part he enjoys the most.
(that got out of hand fairly quick, and we often have to come up with a sane reason why we own a dozen different types of handcuffs ;)

I get that with the mirrors... I don't like seeing myself in a mirror either. Being photographed is another no-no for me. However, in my case I detest that so much that I couldn't enjoy it in a safe situation).

There is this quote... "Some people need to be tied up to feel free". I have no idea where that is from.

certainly not something to be ashamed of but I try to be respectful about it, you know? Cause 'normal' peeps usually assume its a grotesque act, something any given religion might crucify you for.

But it's just the same as any romantic experience, no matter how vanilla it is. Whatever one might call kinky still involves aspects of emotion, mental fortitude, and a connection with another strong enough to be considered spiritual. Of course there are the contradictions to that and any claim lol.

People talk about sex all the time though; music tv, radio, anything. It's silly to imagine that of all things, this is part of the sex taboo.

Exactly.

I spend valuable and fun time with my boyfriend. Yet what we do does not involve candlelight diners etc. (we both find those boring), but handcuffs and legirons, preferrably with complicated locks [...so that a certain someone can enjoy his bubble baths without me, grrr]. So what? ;)

It's true, we have sex all around us. However, a lot of people still manage to have their prejudices. Even though I'm living in Europe, which is very liberal when it comes to those things, it can still be complicated. Even here, you don't tell everyone you're gay. And much less you're gonna tell anyone you're into kinky stuff.

In the end, it *should* be about having a good time. But there are more than enough vanillas who think that your idea of a good time is bad.

(that's why that idea of buying myself a medieval castle far away from any settlements never grew old on me ;)

Just to mention it... my boyfriend is pissed with me freeing myself all the time. He got really angry and put shackles onto me which he bolted (!) shut. No way to escape this time. Goodbye, freedom.

I think a little bit of the 'kinky' stuff often involves emotional freedom, for at least some people. Even if you don't involve emotion with sex, it's still often a personal thing... Anyway, some people enjoy being tied up/handcuffed/restrained, etc., for trust reasons, or other emotional stuff. And for some people it's just a physical reaction! I don't think there's anything wrong with it, if there's consent all around, really... :)
Thanks for coming up and talking about it here, it's an interesting subject that gets avoided pretty often. :)