I want to do some self improvement since i feel like i havnt done anything since highschool. I want be smart and able to have intelligent conversations with others, i want to have the charisma to draw people to me and the confidence to talk to people better. But also i want to the perception most people have of me. They seem to think of me as a nice guy but too stupid and incompetent and uncool and its a huge pain that people think that way about me. Does anyone have any advice?

People eventually come to understand their own interests enough to sound intelligent and captivate their audience. Charisma is momentary, and just as insecurity, exists within all people in differing degrees. But a lot of it comes down to having interests, having the will to learn about new things.

The matter of intelligence, in the same way, is too broad of a spectrum to pinpoint anymore - there are 10,000 different facets of intelligence.

I've let many of my own mental faculties atrophy over time but certain things like social psychology, writing/poetry/prose, eastern cultures, metaphysical studies - all things that I can talk a good deal about in a conversation and maybe sound intelligent in moderation, but overall I forget more than I ever learn about something.

To take it a little deeper, there is no boundary to your intelligence- you're connected to the network like the rest of us, your just using a bad web browser---

All that means is a little reprogramming. Consider thinning the gap between what you consider to be intelligent or not. It's easy to get wrapped up in the culture you're in and forget you are one of the more sophisticated life form in the known universe.

Consider how thin that gap is for others too; for the people you think are cool and smart. Any one should wear a badge of honor if they're a biochemist or a master pianist, but they should never be afraid to admit that they can't drive stick shift, or they always get spaghetti sauce on their shirt, or they haven't been able to keep a relationship for more that a few months...

have you watched that show Sherlock with actor Butternut CrinkleFries? One of the best things about the show is that this guy has the highest IQ of any room he walks in but his interpersonal skills are atrocious, moronic even.

Furthermore I don't believe we're entirely in control of who is drawn to us - most of the people in my life come and go whether they have interest in me or not. Most of them just give me an experience to learn from.

But this all sort of connects together where, learning new things and having a catalog of subjects to roll through will help both your intelligence and charisma - establishing the things you enjoy learning as personal interests and you'll come to find many people who share it with you--- and a lot of them will be dumb as heck, or super smart, but mostly just happy to share their joy.

Oh, one last thing--- someone is telling you that you are uncool or incompetent? cause that's some of the most incompetent, uncool shit I've ever heard in my life - I don't care if the dude went to MIT, or if he has Taylor Swifts phone number, or if he invented a time machine --- If you're trying to make people feel stupid or embarrassed or just generally less than what they are, you forfeit all your earned respect and intelligence.

whoops one last last thing, self improvement is a lifetime, day by day, game. if you stop, your actually moving backwards. Self improvement is a practice, and has 10,000 facets, just like intelligence.

the practice must be tended to like a garden. You don't have to keep trying to plant what doesn't take root. If the bugs keep eating away at your fruit, find a safe repellent. If there's no nutrition in the soil then you need to dig around through some bullshit. And if your fruit comes out bad, so what, the earth recycles itself.