so a few hours ago i fought w/ my boyfriend bc we were playing online games with some friends of mine and after we finished the call group he told me that i behaved badly at him just to impress my friends or something.. and looking backwards i admit i kind of insult him (but like a joke) so my friends doesnt feel uncomfortable and laugh too.. then i told him that he's right and i felt shitty about it but he reacted like he never did and treated me like an stranger.. like he was trying to told me that he was super mad and can't continue like this if im unable to solve my personal problems (we've been together like 7months now and lately we fought a lot). I'm not a bad person and i dont want to behave like this anymore or fight or whatever, i've been looking forward on return therapy too but i feel useless all the time. i have no motivation. im really out of ideas and i hope i can do better. i do know remember how is to be okay again so i can achieve and take care of every aspect of my life but i lost the path. so i came here for help, please if you have experienced something that can open my mind or simply have a comment, share. thank you [sorry about grammar mistakes english is not my mother language]

Just communicate with him. Ask what he wants from you and see if it is possible inside your own stardarts and boundaries. Create key-words when in situations where you don't want other people to know about what you are talking or asking of each other. Like "cake" for when you are doing something bad, and has to stop. It seems silly but its pretty much usefull and saves a lot of trouble.

thank you for your advice, i'll put it in practice