Heyy. I have this situation which im not rly sure on how to deal with so i kinda could use some advice... So, i have two close friends who both have bfs and lately, idk, i feel like they dont rly consider how id feel during hang outs if they each brought their bfs along. They kinda expect me to be okay with it though ive explicitly mentioned that i dont rly like it when im third/fifth wheeling them (its kinda awkward esp since im not rly friends with their bfs). I wouldnt mind if i had someone else to like, pair up(?) with but when its them with their boyfriends and me alone in the group, id feel kinda left out. The solution one of them came to was that i should invite someone else to join us so that id have someone to pair up(?) with and “not complain about fifth wheeling” (exactly what she said). Im a socially awkward introvert so you can imagine how hard it is to find a friend other than them (among the limited amount of friends i have) im comfortable and close enough with to invite. The whole thing is kinda frustrating bc i feel like if the three of us want to hang out, then there’s no need to bring bfs and i also feel like i shouldnt be at the hang out at all if they both want to hang out with their boyfriends at the same time. Though one of them keeps reassuring me that they wont focus entirely on their bfs, it doesnt change the fact that it makes me feel uncomfortable and even when i explicitly tell them this, they still bring up plans to hang out (or most recently, go to ‘prom’) with the five of us and still suggest i “invite someone” if i dont want to fifth wheel. Idk how else im supposed to deal with this whole thing esp since the ‘prom’ (not rly prom) is approaching and i want to go for my friend but the thought of just awkwardly being there alone gives me anxiety and makes me not want to go altogether. Maybe im just being stupid but help please ? ;;

You're not being stupid at all. I'm two years into college & I still feel this way about my friends inviting people I don't know that well to our hangouts, especially when I was expecting/hoping it would be just us.

I think that there aren't many ways to fix it except to talk to them and hope that they'll understand. I would say to try to get friendlier with their boyfriends too, but that could wind up becoming messy territory. Really, the only way to get less uncomfortable with people is to force yourself to be around them more. If you aren't ready for that, then your friends shouldn't be forcing your hand, though. They probably don't understand the extent to which the 3rd/5th wheeling makes you uncomfortable.

I guess try to make sure they know that it's nothing against their boyfriends. Maybe try explaining things a different way, too? (I usually tell my friends that meeting people, eating with people, and interacting with people I don't know well are genuine sources of stress for me. It takes a lot of effort on my part, and some days I just don't have the energy to deal with it– and it will show. That usually gets it across better for me.)

If you haven't mentioned that you aren't really close enough with anyone else to invite them out with you, that might help. You could also mention that you're way more comfortable with these 2 friends, so you just want some time with them where you can actually be yourself, without worrying about entertaining 3 other people.

They probably won't want to change about the prom thing, though. Which I suppose is fair, since prom is romantic for a lot of people, and going in mixed groups is common.

But when you're older you won't find prom anywhere near as important as you do now. And if it helps, I'm the type of person who doesn't find big parties fun in and of themselves, so I rely completely on the people I'm with to make things like prom worthwhile. If I don't want to see the people who will be there, then I just don't go. I figure it's better to be comfortable alone at home than uncomfortable at a party where I don't know/like anyone. I haven't regretted this yet, but Idk if it could do the same for you. The only hang-up is that sometimes people might take things personally, or don't take "I just don't want to go" as a valid reason, even though it completely is.

Or you could maybe offer prom up as a compromise. Like you could go in a group of 5/6 to prom, but you'd like to hang out with just the 3 of you another time.

Sorry I can't give better advice, but I hope that at least something in here helped. Good luck, and feel free to keep us updated.