I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 2 years now. We’ve been inseparable since we started hanging out. We practically lived with one another within the first few months, to put it into perspective... I was always over, so I just kinda brought my stuff there and moved in. Now we have a place together elsewhere, one lease and everything... and yeah. Before you say we moved too fast- we’re both ace. Meaning we have romantic feelings (that we usually hide), but no sexual feelings. It’s how we’ve always been... which is the root of this problem I’m having.
She has only dated a few people before, only made out with about two of them. One of these people is her best friend. They broke up when they were about 17, and we’re 22 now. So 5 years ago. They still talk lots, and he has a boyfriend. However he, this friend, will send her shirtless pictures sometimes? And she’ll send selfies other times. Just of her in a cute outfit or whatever... but she never sends them to me. I’ve told her this bothers me, but she says it’s just how their relationship is. They’re both “aesthetic people”, they like to do this because they want to brag about how they look, show it off, whatever. Which is fine... but again, they have history. They didn’t work out because he cheated on her... so what’s stopping him from cheating WITH her? You know? But she assures me they’re just best friends... he was her first love... idk, it just hurts and doesn’t feel right. What do you guys think?

I'm guessing he's bi and not gay since you are worried. I'd say shirtless is definitely a red flag. Unless he's a frat guy who basically never has a shirt on b/c obv. that would be an exception. Otherwise, I definitely get how you are feeling; it's a sensible reaction. Explain to her how she wouldn't like it either so that she understands your frustrations; ask whether she would like for your first love to send you bikini pics. She prob wouldn't like that all, so she'd have that image when texting that guy and eventually stop.

Do you trust her? If so, you have nothing to worry about. If not, you need to talk to her.
People can still be friends with their exes. My best friend is my ex girlfriend that I dated for 3 years. She sends me pictures of herself all dressed up to get my opinion on how she looks. Because best friends do that kind of stuff! Gotta support her! My boyfriend trusts me and knows nothing is gonna happen between us. Sure, me and my best friend have history. So what? We're not together anymore for a reason.
It doesn't really matter the intentions of your girlfriend's ex, as long as you trust your girlfriend. Plus, why in the world would she go back to a guy that cheated on her? You're likely overthinking the situation. Just talk to her about how you feel and go from there. Communication is essential in a relationship.

@EpicKeith, thanks dude. I needed this. It's hard because I don't know ANYONE who's been in this situation, honestly, of exes being best friends. I just get so worried... And trust is something that is hard for me to have. The last person I trusted cheated on me almost in the same way (messed around with his best friend. Messed around with my best friend too.) But you're right. And my girlfriend is strong, and I know she isn't with him for a reason... I just gotta get my paranoia outta here. Thank you again, truly.

>>4
Yeah, it does seem to be very normalized to not have anything to do with your exes once the relationship ends.
That's always been weird to me, cause I'm still friends with all three of my exes, but everyone else around me seems to hate theirs. Everyone is different about it, I guess!
It sucks that people have hurt you and betrayed your trust like that in the past, so I'm very much hoping that it'll be different this time around and your girlfriend can teach you how to trust again! From what you said, it seems you two have a very strong bond, so I'm rooting for you! Good luck!

Hey! It’s been a few months since I posted this, but!!! I just wanted to say this thread really helped. The people that replied really helped. I’ve learned that my ADHD can actually cause me to act out and get paranoid about this sort of thing? It’s very weird and circumstantial... but honestly with COVID and us being together a lot more, we found it easy to talk about these things. I’m a lot more secure now. I even talk to this ex of hers sometimes, and today he called me for like 3 hours just to talk about his life and stuff. It was really nice, healing... yeah! Just wanted to share something positive! :)