Dude. You are cheating on your girlfriend. Straight up cheating. That's fucked up.
Non-monogamy can work, and I know this cause I was in a non-monogamous relationship at one point. But what you're doing is not that. With non-monogamy, ALL parties involved need to be aware of what's going on or else it is just.. cheating like you're doing.
There is nothing wrong with being sexual (as long as there is consent!). When I first started dating my current boyfriend, I was dating another guy. Both guys were aware of it though! Both guys were aware of what was happening the entire time!! My current boyfriend was not comfortable with anything sexual at the time, which I respected. He was aware I was sexually involved with the other guy, but he didn't need any of the details. It all worked out fine.
Communication is key in any relationship, but especially in a non-monogamous one. You aren't communicating ANYTHING with your girlfriend. She could be okay with you doing this, but you never talked to her about it! That's not okay.
Honestly, you're too far gone into this situation to have this relationship work out and I hope she breaks up with you and fins someone who will respect her enough to not cheat on her and will communicate their needs with her. In the future, COMMUNICATE these things to your partner, even if you think they may be uncomfortable with it. If you can't have a healthy discussion with your significant other, you shouldn't be with them.
To add on, you're framing this as if you being a "sexual deviant" is the problem here when it's really not that bad. Seems pretty normal to me. (If you really do think this is an issue that's negatively impacting your life, seek therapy. It can help.) The actual problem is not communicating with your girlfriend (ironic since you say you've fixed your communication issues, wrong) and that you're cheating on her. Yikes.
sorry to break it to you but you're cheating on her. if you want to have a relationship solely based on sex then go find a friend with benefit or some shit while you're NOT dating your gf. if you really "love" her then you wouldn't find the need to worry about sex and cheat on her with different people. just bc your friend has sex with other people while still dating someone doesn't mean that it's okay for YOU to do it. she may have an open relationship with her bf but iono. if you really want to have sex to "remove the tension" talk to your gf about it, not go behind her back and have sex with different people without her knowing. if you "love" her that much, then wouldn't you feel pained by her feeling so damn heartbroken because of you causing it? she might as well break it off with you completely if you can't even communicate to her about your needs.
I'm just going to delete this post because i'll be honest, i don't know how to handle this. I know what i am. I know what i do is wrong. But i can't stop it and i'll never be able to tell anyone that actually knows me personally, real life or otherwise. I've been with one person and then the rest has been porn. THat's it. Back to me shunning myself from here for a while and when i come back going by a different name so that I'm unassociated to my flaws. Goodbye for the next two years.
>>5 not to sound rude but you're basically just victimizing yourself by saying you'll go back to "shunning" yourself from this website. you need to man up and stop being a coward and running away from your problems.
