So there's an anime called Anohana: the flower we saw that day. And if anyone knows this anime you probably know that's its a tear-jerker, supposedly. I ussually love this kind of thing, melo-drama is not ussually something I'm into but those bittersweet elements really speak to me. A big part of Anohana is moving on from a close friend or family member's death and it reminded me of a 'big sister' figure I once had in an MMO (World of Warcraft, I was a big Dungeons & Dragons style roleplayer a few years back on the game) who "died" and I was hooked into this show.

But as the show went on and I kept thinking about this big sister I used to have, something occured to me. Had I ever moved on from this event. To me it was just, something that happened to me a long time ago but the more I thought about it the more I remembered losing sleep and crying over what had happened. So this may be a real long post but I thought I might retell what happened to this girl in my life.

We met online randomly, she had seen something about my character and thought it was so funny that she reached out to tell me so. We laughed about it and that random passerby and I became quick friends. She was starting a roleplay group and she set up a voice chat (on some service I can't remember now. Teamspeak maybe? Not important) where everyone got together to get to know each other, talk about the game, ect. And as it turns out her and another person on the chat were roommates. She and her roommate (lets call them Care and Kate) were together the leaders of the guild we were all in and me and Kate grew really close.

Well, aparently the guild was older than I thought and someone came along and accused Care and Kate of stealing someones account to gain ownership of this guild and weren't really who they said they were. To what end I never really found out. No one in the group really knew what to make out of it but soon it seemed that every player was swarming us, asking if it were true and throwing accusations around. This was pretty stressful on Kate, who started having fits and not sleeping properly, or at least that's what Care told us. Everyone started panic in chat and I got tons of messages from someone else in the guild, an admin who said they needed to talk to me. Aparently the sleep loss was too much and Kate fell asleep at the wheel on the way to her job and had a car accident. She didn't make it.

Care was beside herself and everyone in the guild was sad or angry or both. I was heartbroken. I could barely function and though I managed to not worry my family and friends outside of the game, I was a wreck. Back in game, both sides of the server (if you didnt know, World of Warcraft has 2 opposed factions) even got together to hold a funeral. People said some nice things about her but I don't remember if I could choke anything out or not, I was too distraught. Later, the guild was in tatters now, Care was leading it and bringing on ... Less than respectable people. Alot of friends left but I was close to Kate and Care was her roommate so I stayed for her and the few friends I had left. But for some reason, accusations still flew wildly. I guess at the time i wasn't really aware that's just how the internet was but this story isn't quite over yet. This latest accusation was that Care and Kate were the same person and that Kate's death was faked. I wouldn't hear that, at the time. Kate was an inspiration to me, even before she died. She was soft-spoken and kind but she was also pretty stern when it came to the guild, and Care was free-spirited, rash and scottish x3. And even though I refused to believe, Care came to me some time later after tempers where high about the issue and admited it was true. That she had some mental thing and that she was sorry she led everyone on like that. I remember just feeling nothing, I wasn't angry or happy or sad. I was numb and emotionally exhausted. She asked me to forgive her and I said I did but I never talked to her again after that. Needless to say I don't play Warcraft anymore...

But that's my story. Sorry it's so long but it has been on my mind ever since I watched Anohana and won't get off of it. And this memory kind of kept me from enjoying the ending of that show but go watch it if you can! I don't know whether getting it off my chest will help or not with the memory but thank you for reading and have a nice day.