So, I’ve been cheated on multiple times, and the guy I met a year ago also has been cheated on before and he was really sweet and caring so we dated. After we moved in together and he started working at his parents job (bc they are soon to retire) he started changing. He would start talking to girls, having a one on one date with his friend who is a girl instead of inviting me, rejects my kisses. Like he pushes my face away, pushes my hugs away and then I discovered he was cheating. He was tired of me complaining and crying and being angry. I mean of course I’m crying you insult me and reject me I’ve seen the signs of cheating before. Anyway, he started feeling guilty afterwards and, being with him I quit my job, I stopped talking to my guy friends bc he hated them I did everything he asked to make him comfortable and now.. he just keeps talking about other girls and when I tell him I want to move out or I wanna leave he gets so upset and starts crying and it breaks my heart bc I love him. I love him but I don’t know how to trust him and I haven’t told any of my friends bc they’d just tell me to leave him and if I don’t they’d just judge me and I want to figure things out for myself.. I don’t know what to do.. he didn’t even celebrate my birthday or our anniversary or Valentine’s Day... like? ... he’s been taking me on vaction since.. traveling the world but.. I don’t know how to move forward.. and I don’t want to be judge but I also don’t know what to do I want support and comfort from the people I love but the people I love are in my home country and I’m out here in a different country... for this dream job... all the guys I’ve dated cheated on me and it just makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me... I try my damn hardest to make them happy and comfortable and I just don’t let them step on me... if they do something that is insulting I’ll soeak up I’m very honest... like don’t be mean... I don’t know... at the same time my past boyfriends all verbally abused me, to which I spoke out to so that’s what they probably hated... I don’t know... is there just something wrong with me? Is every guy I’m going to date just going to cheat on me? Is that my karma?... I’m just very sad... I suffer from depression, anxiety, paranoia, panic attacks ect... and I’ve been trying to recover for 5 years now and this... this is like a cherry on top... bc I understand so much that I don’t... and he’s still lying to me about certain things... I want out, I want space... he gave me a damn promise ring and he doesn’t even wear his.... play now I’m just venting.... I don’t know...

Hey, I know its hard right now. I know you dont want to listen to your loved ones who would tell you to leave him. I was in the same kind of situation 5 years ago. Please leave, I'm still recovering. I'm literally begging you to please leave him. Someone who cheats does not love you the same way you love them. You will be sad, but you will not be torturing yourself this way anymore. He isolated you from your guy friends, guilt tripped you into feeling sorry for him. I'm not judging you, its so hard to go, I know. it sounds mean but if you cant cold turkey leave. Stay with him and slowly decide youre going to leave till one day the thought doesnt hurt so much then leave. Being alone is so much better then that feeling you feel everyday because of him. Its going to impact future relationships most likely but your future partner will help you through it. its not karma, he is just taking advantage of someone who is hurt and has so much love to give. Sure he may be attached to you in a sick way but its not enough to just say it. The timing on this post is crazy, I read all my old letters from the person I was with yesterday all from 2013-2014 or earlier. I threw them out last night and its 2019, All of them were him saying how he is scared ill cheat or leave and how he is sorry for cheating and that he will change. He wont change, im so sorry and please dont risk it by staying even longer to see if he does. It will only get worse and you dont want to hate him either even if he is the worst. My spelling sucks btw because I just need to think of the right things to say and I really need you to see how bad this is for you. After a year being away from this person I found someone who was to good to be true. I was so scared because of the abusive ex. I took the chance on a new person and we have been together since september 2015. I get emotional when I remeber the past ex and I have a short temper now and we work through it and he helps me through it all. Having someone without having to worry if theyre cheating if they love me or if theyre going to leave is the best feeling ever. and the weirdest because im STILL not use to it after all these years. Please also reach out to your loved ones and even show the closest person to you this post of yours so they can see how much pain you are in and they can help without judging. I'm so sorry youre going through this and I hope you are happy one day. Never stop speaking up for yourself, its something you shouldnt feel bad about. I hope youre okay

Thank you for taking your time to read. The things you have advised me to do is really sweet, and even though we are strangers I really appreciate how much you care. ;A; I wish I could take your advice but I’m just too weak in the heart to do so.. I want to, but then when I end up not being with him for day I end up missing him and.. I think eventually I will, just not soon, but thank you, this made me feel better. ;-; it was like a virtual hug and I really appreciate it.