so a few days ago i fought with a friend of mine
heads up she has anxiety and depression
we have a groupchat with my other group of friends and we were cracking with a ton of jokes then, friend A talked about how we'll be happy is she's gone and me and my other friend thought "ahhh this again?"

i know how hard having anxiety and depression is but, to the point that she's using that as an excuse to everything felt wrong to me. She's far more better than me on so many levels and that infuriates me. I've been very supportive of her and she said that her achievements are nothing and affected me since, it felt like my support all this time is just nothing.
She said she idolized me and really, I don't like that. I know how bad a person I can be and I accept that as a part of me. I can be wrong at times. I don't like how she worships me. She closed her world too much on us and that placed a pressure too much on me.

during our private chat, I exploded. I scolded her and took the aggressive approach. I'm tired of saying the same things. I'm tired of her saying the same things. With every scolding I said, she just down herself more and it felt like she's guilt tripping me. I knew that I'm being the bad guy during those conversation I told her off saying what she's saying is full of shit. I used to sugarcoat my words to her but, I reached my limit. I became frank with her.

the conversation cooled down and I apologized to her and i told her I've given up.

I don’t think you’re a bad friend at all. Sounds like you’ve been there for her and tried supporting her and I can tell you tried your hardest. It’s natural that you’ve reached your limit. Don’t let her guilt trip you.. people similar to her sometimes have trouble understanding that the way they speak and how much they speak of it can also negatively affect their friends emotionally/mentally. It does seem that she has some sort of problem like depression or something but she shouldn’t expect her friends to “fix” her or make her feel better all the time.. friends do help with these kinds of things, yes. But tell her that the only person who can really “fix” her is herself. I don’t know much about her but be cautious because some people do it for attention and pity and use their “depression” as excuses for their bad behavior.

@elidi that really put me on another perspective thanks I admit there was a mistake on my part but I take responsibility for what I've done. I'll take note of your caution.

I know what you're speaking of. it's the same with me. my friend is always negative and says stuff like I don't care if i die now and it really angers me. I've been in a place like that before too and I can say that it's not that easy to just go away. I understand what you mean cause if a very good friend of you says stuff like that it just feels like they also don't care about you and what you're feeling rn.

>>1 I feel bad for the poor girl. Being scolded for idolizing someone. Real shame that you gave up on your friend that's one hell of a friendship. Sure you have limits, but if you're actually friends you don't give up. But hey if you wanna quit on her because you can't handle her problems that's fine by me. Just feel bad for the poor girl. Would be a pity if she decided to disappear.

As someone with anxiety and depression, I have mixed feelings here.

I've seen people who use their mental illness as excuses, and who just generally come off as super self-pitying and annoying. I also know how bad it is to idolize someone - especially someone close to you. A historical figure or celebrity is one thing, but it DOES put a lot of pressure on people close to you. Everyone does bad things. Everyone can be super shitty.

I also know that dealing with someone else's mental health is a lot. That said, being there for someone with mental illnesses IS a lot of repetition and reassurance and saying the same things over and over - because that mental illness is usually telling the person the same things over and over. That's probably why she tells you the same crap repeatedly. It also doesn't always leave you a lot of room to talk to that person either.

If she's at the point that being friends with her is toxic for YOU, then you need to cut her off - depression or not. Elidi is right; she's the only one who can fix herself, and it is NOT your responsibility. I also agree with Elidi that you should tell her that, and say you still care about her, but you can't be her anchor.