Around 6-7 months ago I graduated and get a job. Sounds like a good news but it's not that good to me. My cousin recomend me to work there. I hate working there, long before I graduated, long before I enter uni. But my cousin recommend me to work there. Unfortunately my family want me to work there. Yes the salary is good for a fresh graduate like me. After I discuss it with my family they said it to me to give it a go. Because we need money(not born in a "lucky" family). So I decide to force myself work there(here) and give it a go. I usually can handle these short of feelings where I can force myself to do things by asking to myself and tell it to do it. I don't think I'm bipolar or have multiple personality. But early this month I guess I'm at my limit. Working something that I hate for months makes my head went nuts. I started to hallucinating voices inside my head. Some of them said something similar to "I can't do it anymore", "please quit already", "I don't want to do this". Sometime they force me to curse especially at work. Even worse some of the voices in my head shout at me to do bad things that I don't want to talk about it. It also shows me visually in a blink of an eye. But despite all of these I can still control myself. I know it sounds like fairytale or a movie or just lies but this is what's happening to me until now and if anyone have a similar things happen to you, you may share it here. Even better if some of you know how to stop these voices. Please share it here.

Basically it's all the repressed feelings that you've been bottling up inside. You should never stay at a job you hate. Not only is it bad for your health it's also bad for your mentality. I worked at a job for almost 3 years and I hated it too. I would arrive at work and as soon as I punched in I would feel exhausted. I could have slept the entire weekeend and still come in tired. I had friends there and ocasionally my now ex girlfriend would come on her lunch break to eat with me. The bosses were horribly mean to the workers and always seemed to put pressure on me. I would get home extremely stressed and sometimes depressed. I did not want to leave the job due to the fact that even though it was a horrible job I was being paid fairly well and I worked a steady 40 hours a week unless I was asked to do overtime. I did not think I could get a better job and did not want to be job less. That job made me feel like I was not good enough for another job. So what I did at least was I spent my weekends with friends or my ex just going out and having fun. On my free time I would job hunt for jobs and my friends supported me. Once I found a job even though it was part time I quit my job. After only a week of being at my part time job my boss was so impressed with what I knew and could do that I was offered a promotion and full time work. The voices only come out when you can't hold it in anymore. They say what you know but don't want to say. I hope this helps in a way.

Thank you. Yea the voice came out when I can't hold it, but sometime it came when there's nothing to be stressed out. And yes, I don't want to be jobless. I think I really should looking for another job. But if I can hold it until 1 year, maybe it will be easier to get a job. On the other side I'm also afraid that if I can't hold it, I'll blindly follow those voices. But well, looking for another job seems the best thing I should do. Thank you. :)