Heyo

So I was wondering how often normal families fight? And not over small things, but more serious things. My parents often fight quite a few times a week at night in their bedroom. There is always crying and screaming involved, so its not hard to hear them at night.

Their discussions are almost never resolved, even when one of them say they understand, as it usually follows up in the next argument. One of my parents are the ‘say their fine but they’re not fine’ type of person and it usually leads to arguments about stuff like lack of trust, and how to act as a family, and more discussions like that. At first they’re screaming used to cause me troubles sleeping, but now it’s just a normal thing and I fall asleep like any other day. Other times I keep my 2 year old half-sister watching tv with me so that she isn’t in their bedroom whenever they argue on the weekends.

So I was just wondering if this thing is normal. I’m sorry if this sounds like a dumb question, I didn’t grow up with a mother and now that I’ve had a step-mum for the past 4/5 years, I don’t know if this arguing is normal for all families or if this is potentially toxic and needs to be handled instead of ignored. Basically, I don’t know if this is a normal relationship, and if it’s not, I don’t know what to do.

I wouldn't call it normal. That said, it's not uncommon, either. But the fact that it happens a lot doesn't mean it's okay or healthy. They definitely need to go see a marriage counselor, or something. It's pretty crummy for them to subject their children to a situation like that.

My parents fought all the time, until they divorced. My step parents have fought, but it's not nearly as frequent--though I moved out two years ago, so I wouldn't know how they're doing on that as of now.

I hope everything works out for you and your sister.