I can't tell this to anyone around me but my dad used to abuse me and he taught me how to kill. He used to make me kill baby birds with my own hands, if I didn't listen he would lock me in the closet without food for days. He was dangerous and my mom just ignored what was happening to me. I mean it's been years and I took classes to help me but sometimes I still get that itch to kill. It's hard to forget that part of me, I'm afraid of what I will become and I tend to hurt people around me. I want to stop but it's something I crave. What should I do?

It was hard for you. You've got a lot of bad experiences. But inside you will always stay who you want to be, you can change yourself. Not others and the past determine who you are. You know what is right and what is not. Just stay always with yourself and make your decisions. I can't say anything else, I'm sorry. Be strong.

Fuan is right, you can change yourself.
Maybe you could look up "mindfulness meditation", it might be able to help at least a little.
A friend of mine told me about it, even though I don't know much about it I think it might be useful.
Hope this helps, and good luck!

This doesn't seem like a situation where most Dollars would be prepared to give the best advice. It's more of something you should seek professional help with. All I can say is that I think it's really strong & kind of you to try resisting your violent urges. Especially since it was instilled in you as a child like that – as >>2 said, it must be really hard on you. I hope the load will lessen on you as time goes on, because you seriously never deserved for any of that to happen to you. Stay strong, wishing you peace.