What's goin' on?

The title kinda explains it all. I know self-diagnoses isn't a real diagnoses but this is the closest thing I can think of. I've always been a distant kind of guy, and as a kid I was just written off as "shy" but as I grew older I never really left it, but I'm sure as hell not shy. In recent years I've had friends and family die and I've kinda followed the thought "Dead is dead, there's nothing to change that so there's no use wasting energy on this." My family believes that I don't care about them. And I realized I really don't, not because they're a bad family, they aren't, but because I see no real reason to connect with them apart from the fact we live in the same home. I can't hold a conversation to save my life because I rarely have interest in what they have to say, even if it's on a topic I do like. And I can't talk about myself because I doubt they're really interested either. It's gotten to the point where I might just straight up ignore others because I've been doing the polite decline thing for years and I'm tired of it. I've never had a girlfriend, mostly for lack of trying because I can't seem form a crush. I don't care about anyone, not in the teen angst kind of way but in the I can't find it in myself. I'm okay being alone, always have been, but what I'm not sure I'm okay with is staying like this because if I continue on in like this my life is just going to be me durdling around until I die.

So I guess my question is: What makes you guys "care" about others, what drives you to want to interact with others, to actively want to be apart of their lives? If not a person then a pet or even a hobby that you're ridiculously passionate about. And if you're like me, how do you fill your time? How do you interact with others in a way they view as normal?

Study some morale and ethics, read books such as "How to Win friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie and act as if you are interested in other people. Always keep in mind that you are doing this for yourself, to help you get what you want. That should help.

I don’t think you’re a sociopath. It may be because you don’t interact with the people around you or the people that attempt to approach you. The reason you don’t feel anything for friends or family that has died may be because you never really had a connection with them to begin with. Maybe you never really actually spent the time to get to know them and by the time they died you still hadn’t got to really know them. And to answer your question, the reason people interact with others is to belong somewhere. For someone to care about them. No matter how you look at it, many people do it for their own selfish reasons, so in a way we are all sociopaths. Some more than others.

I can't diagnose you anything but i have personal answer for your question (tbh i love how your question sounds like "what drives you to want to interact with others, to actively want to be apart of their lives") It's quite simple, actually, because i'm one of those people who easily got bored. wait, i didn't mean that i always have to be surrounded by people, but a change of situation from being alone to hangout with friends kinda.. "wipe away" that bored feeling inside me

I don't know if this suggestion will works or not, but if you don't find any person that hold same style/type as yours in real life, you can find someone like that in the internet. Some of my friends have acquaintances in the game they played more than in real life, and i think that's fine.