Everyone was seemingly born with it around me.

I grew up normally, I'd like to believe. I had friends, I think. Or maybe I just happened to be around them a lot, it's all a blur to me anyway.

I moved away from it all in the blink of an eye, and yet, I didn't mind? There was one person I truly, earnestly cared about, but she left long before I did. Not to say I didn't like them, but, it didn't weigh on me for too long.

4 years into my new living environment, and I haven't gone out to meet anyone new. I have no desire. Not just for friends, but desire for anything.

So where is it?

How do you get it? I grew up with so many people with dreams, a fire to be something. One wanted to be a U.S Marine, we were 13 or so. I didn't think he was serious, I thought that dream was just a heat of the moment statement.

And then, I log onto my Facebook, which is rare, since it's nothing but friends I never talk to, and siblings I talk to irl anyway. I log on and I see he's now a proud U.S Marine, 8 years later. And here I am, still the exact same.

I cheer everyone else on around me, because they have dreams. It's such an amazing thing, I don't want anyone to give up on them. I've encouraged and since seen people succeed from their moments of doubt, and it's such a nice sight to see.

And then I turn to myself, and those rallying words and pump up pep talks seem like a waste of effort for myself. I couldn't bring myself to give that same energy even if I was forced to.

Where's that passion everyone else has? I ask that, and part of me asks myself, "Even if you were handed the answers, what would you honestly do with them?" Would I lack the strength to act on getting the will to chase after something? I don't know what depression feels like, and I'm not gonna pretend I do for a second, but I also don't know a time where I haven't been like this, so who knows what's going.

I just want to find something to chase after, to chase to the ends of the Earth, and feel proud when I look back at my story. It's slipping away, and I don't even have the will to tighten my grip, let alone pull it to me. What's wrong with me.

Nothing's wrong with you, pretty much everyone's been there.
My best advice to give would be: Try new things. You might not have found this dream of yours because you haven't found something that deeply interests you yet.

Maybe making a list of things you like to do (even small things) might help.
If that doesn't work, I remember when I was a kid a teacher once told us that it's difficult to identify the "positive" in us and list it, but that we can narrow down the content of that list by doing the contrary; listing the "negative" in us and to look at what isn't there.
Maybe you could do the same and right what you don't like to do, and then see if you can't find stuff that you'd like.

Hope this helps!