I feel so alone.
Betrayed?
I don't know and I wish I didn't care.
I've always been one of the smartest in my grade, heck, even my entire highschool. Not only that, I'm one of the most athletic girls in my highschool, and I'm considered cute. People used to respect me, people used to like me. I used to be popular.
Then last year, I had a falling out with my friend group, and I moved to a different group, the one which I am struggling with right now. I was completely excluded by that group.
The thing that infuriates me is that the friend group I had a falling out with are made up of people that are so shallow and so fake. Yet they get along together just fine and are the popular ones. Everyone likes them. They can act so nice and bubbly and self-assured and fake and I envy that because I wish that I could act confident and at ease with myself. I used to be able to. But now...
After I moved to my current friend group, which has less smart and popular people but I thought they were good people, I thought I finally had a place to belong. But no. We are too different.
I'm the smart one. I'm the athletic one. But the people in my group aren't smart, aren't focused on academics, aren't particularly driven towards anything. I can't seem to fit in. And they don't want to let me fit in.
There's this one girl especially who is so passive aggressive about this. On her finsta page she made a post about this anonymous person, but I'm so sure that it's me. She said that she was tired of dealing with me, that I was a great person but she just didn't want to be my friend anymore. And in real life, it showed so clearly. She also posted a picture that said "the gang" but it had everyone except for me. All except for me. And she chose to take that picture on one specific day that I was absent from school.
I thought we were getting along. But no.
And everyone seems to have that one friend which they always hang out with. They always go off in pairs. Leaving me all alone.
And now I think people in my grade have noticed that I am being excluded, and they don't respect me anymore. More and more people are thinking of me as "easy" and are subtly but slowly and slowly pushing me around more and more.
I don't know what to do.
I just feel so hurt.
When will this exclusion end?
When will I find just one girl friend that will accept me for who I am and won't leave me for fakes?
I'm a girl, and I have one best friend, but he's a guy and we can't sit together during lunch or anything or hang out openly much because our school is just so DAMN judgemental.
Someone, please tell me what to do.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm just scared of being alone.
And I don't know what to do when I am left all alone.

1)Teach yourself to worry less about what people think of you. If you make an effort to be a good person and are kind, it does not matter what people think. Hang out with your best friend, even if he is a guy. It's 2018. Different sex friendships shouldn't be such a big deal. Ignore the rumors people make. If they have nothing better to do than that, they aren't people worth worrying about anyways.

2) High school isn't everything. Keep your grades up. Have fun in athletics. Do what you love. Friends are nice, but high school friendships often fade after graduation anyways. You'll be fine. Being alone isn't fun, yeah, but it's better than being with people who won't accept you.

I was alone for the entirety of high school because I couldn't speak. I had very little friends. I'm in college now and I only have one person from high school that I still talk to. College is wayyy better from my experience. But just getting away from high school and meeting people without the whole high school mindset is amazing. They are real people who will make genuine connections with you. Some of the friends I have now are so different from me, but we get along so well and trust each other.

High school isn't the best time for a lot of people. Just get through it the best you can. After graduation, there's a whole world of experiences to be had. You have much better things to look forward to.

In the meantime, having online friends can help you feel less alone and usually you can find someone who has a lot in common with you. Plus, people online are from all over the world, so you could learn cool things!

Don't stress about making friends in high school so much. You'll be fine, I promise. Just keep your head high and pay no mind to people trying to bring you down.