Things are getting bad again. I want my arms to be half their current size and I wanna see all my ribs. Being motivated to loose weight is depressing in itself because I feel fat no matter what.

I started making myself vomit. I never used to do that. I don't want that. I'd rather just keep on restricting than binge/purge.

If it helps, consider how important a healthy metabolism is to having a healthy weight. You can't starve yourself and expect healthy, or even lasting, results. Aiming for a certain weight should be about what/when you eat, and I don't mean not at all. Start with small portions, taking a bit of each part of the meal, and don't feel guilty if you go back for seconds. Don't eat too fast, and listen to your body when you've had enough.


Wherever you're at now, and whatever changes you want to see, I'd try to encourage you to love your body how it is, and take pride in practicing self-care.

You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin, but caving in to such drastic ideas is the wrong way.

Hey, thankyou! This is the best advice I've gotten and I'm gonna try this from tomorrow (The day is almost over today)

I don't know why you'd even wanna see all your ribs though. I can, but I am very underweight, to the point where it causes health problems. Many people who are able to see all their ribs have health problems due to their weight. This is not something you should want or strive for. (And seriously, why is it even considered attractive? It ends up looking gross or creepy outside of photos with staged poses and lighting.)
Honestly, appearance shouldn't matter. Your goal should not be to look a certain way, because it is often either impossible or dangerous to get your ideal body image. The goal should just be to be healthy. FindMuck is absolutely right about trying to love your body as is and focusing on self care. You'll feel much better about yourself if you care about health rather than appearance. You'll just feel good, emotionally and physically!

I feel the same way. It never got better and soon after that I started cutting myself to numb the emotional pains I had. None of it got better until I met someone that numbed the pain instead of me using my knife. I think I’m getting closer to that state again, because the person is starting to ignore me and get annoyed by me. I’m already starting to cut myself again, and I don’t know what to do... I should have just talked to someone about my problems, but now it’s too late. The best advice to give you is to talk to someone, even if it’s to your pet. It helps, trust me. At least, over time. The best way for me to deal with everything without my knife, is distracting myself by watching anime and reading mangas all the time.