Want to know the worst feeling I have ever felt? Well your in for a ride.

So the worst feeling I have ever felt is, trying to hold on to friends who were your best friends. What? Holding on to friends? There’s much worse feelings out there! Just hold on a minute and let me explain.

So about seven months ago, I lost two of my best friends. Both left me without saying why. Of coarse I started to feel depressed, my best friends just leave me with no explanation as to why. Then two months later (we haven’t spoken in these two months) one of them comes out the blue and acts like we have been talking the whole time. This leaves one with mixed feelings, have they left me? Why talk to me now? This lead me into further depression. Still with no answer as to why they left me, they leave me again. Making me feel empty. We haven’t spoken to this day, and thinking about them hurts.

Thinking about these two people who I called best friends, hurts me, makes me feel depressed. You haven’t went through a break up this pain is nothing! That’s where you’re wrong. I have been through beak ups and have been cheated on in the past. And yes I have lost other friends in the past, this wasn’t the first time.

The reason this hurts so much is because they left me for no reason and act like we were friends ever since. Friends don’t cut all contact with you, even if you try to talk to them. Why don’t you ask them why they left? Another good question. I have I have straight up said “do you have a problem with me? If so let me know there’s no way I can sort out a problem if I don’t know why it’s occurred.” And they just say “we have nothing wrong with you.”

The part that hurts the most is a, false sense of hope that they will come back and everything will go back to how they were back in the good old days. But they won’t, they never will. I’d love to know why they left me, why it hurts for them to leave me, but I never will. There a lost cause and I won’t get them back.

So this is where I need you, they played a big part in my life up to seven months ago. Which means I have a lot of memory’s with them. As I stated earlier these memories hurt, I don’t know how to deal with this problem how do I look at those events in a better light? How do I move on without knowing why they left? What do I do?

I have been a military kid my entire life. I have had so many "Best friends" who after I left or they left they never talked to me again. I gave them my contact information. Sometimes I wonder if they even remember who I am. With this mind set it can be hard to make new bonds but it is possible. You just have to accept it for what it is and grow stronger. Find some people that will stand by you. There are some that will. You just have to find them. For as why they left you. It's typically personal problems. Nothing to do with you. Hoped this helped. Have a nice day.