This is going to be long so I would prefer you to decide now if you’re going to read all of it or none of it. Even if you don’t have anything to say I thank you for at least reading it the whole way and apologise for taking up your time.

Over the last few years I’ve called myself a writer and have been collecting many stories and ideas. I’ve spent a lot of time creating characters and designing worlds, having plans for the stories and many other factors. I guess a problem I’ve noticed is how “ambitious” I seem to be with these, for I have many different series and worlds that I wish to spend a large amount of time on and create into long series. I have much depth and exploration I wish to do with these worlds, characters and stories that will take me many years to accomplish. I think too long term, resulting in many plans and ideas for later on in the series without knowing all of the specifics of how the beginning is supposed to happen. In the past I didn’t consider this a flaw because a lot of the time I like to have many factors and secrets at work, like how a connected universe references itself all the time, also creating stories that could result in many interesting fan theories and implications as to how some things work or took place.

The problem I’m having is that I can’t write. This might sound strange but I’m not too big a fan of reading in general. My approach to stories is that the focus should be on the stories, characters, world and things like that so I don’t like the factor of “writing style”, where you can make a mediocre story seem interesting by choosing the right words and style of writing it. It just feels like it takes away from the content if a major part of your interest in it is in the way that it’s written. I personally am not a fan of things like poetry or lyrics in songs, or rather, that becomes more of an artform than a form of storytelling, but as someone who’s aim isn’t to “create art” but rather design worlds, characters and stories, I’ve found it very difficult to translate my thoughts and notes into a medium where it can be viewed.

The second reason is that I’m a specialist. What I mean by this is that I’m only “good” at certain aspects of creating stories, so even if I have many thoughts and ideas for stories I always seem to have holes or parts of it that make them feel incomplete, things that I cannot bring to it. A simple example is that I’m not visually minded. I’ve always loved the idea of my stories and characters getting visual and artistic representation but I, however, never seem to come up with many details for them. The visual character designs tend to be really vague, in some cases I even am not sure of the gender. This doesn’t mean that these characters aren’t important but rather that these visual factors are not particularly relevant to the story.

In a way I am a “perfectionist”. I wouldn’t say that this word applies to me a lot of the time but when it comes to the stories I write/create, and things I really care about in general, I have standards, standards that I will never be able to achieve on my own. With characters, for example, I prefer to have a more equal approach, in some cases not having a clear “main character” but it being about the different character’s stories within the world. In the same way, I don’t create “unimportant” characters. This includes characters like background characters, “bad guy” characters and other characters who only exist for the sake of the plot or to make something happen. This might sound strange but I think of being a writer as similar to being that of a god, so it feels almost unethical to create characters that don’t get a proper chance to exist and have their own story and depth to them. This way of thinking of the characters as “real” is also why I tend to think so long term, it’s because I’ve developed a kind of fear of endings. Imagine what it would be like for your story as a person to simply be over, it would make the rest of your life meaningless, not significant enough to be shown as part of your story. This “happily ever after” vague kind of ending is a scary thought. Maybe some people wish for a simple and happy life but for the stories and characters I write it would be very out of place, being closer to that of boredom and purposelessness. Maybe interesting things happen off-screen, who knows, but for now I wish for them and their worlds to continue as long as possible. And to clarify, I still wish to take a “quality over quantity” approach, the idea being to make up for both by using a lot of time. I do have a lot to work with, but I guess that’s vague enough to not hold much meaning.

Lastly, the factor of working with someone else. It’s a difficult thing to explain how much meaning I wish for these stories to hold, but simply put, I couldn’t work with just anyone. To start with, where would you even find someone like this? It’s not like I would just happen to know the perfect person to compliment my approach and style of creation, and it’s not as simple as just finding any artist and vaguely “working” with them. As far as life goes, this is the most important thing for me and possibly my whole life. I plan on doing this for many years into the future and it means so much more to me than you might realise. Finding someone to work with is similar to the idea of finding “true love”, the kind that you can’t find with just anyone. I don’t just have a standard where if I come across one of the many people who reach it then I’ll be set. In order for me to truly trust someone else with this story and for them to think and approach my stories and worlds in the same way as me it’ll require finding a singular person, the kind of person that is most perfect for me to meet. It’s finding someone mathematically impossible to find, considering how many people there are in the world.

So yeah, I’m not sure why I’m telling you any of this but I felt like throwing something out there. These are the paradoxes of someone who could potentially create something amazing, but will probably never be able to due to how the algorithm of life works. It feels like over time I’ve been going out of my way to create the most detailed and complicated puzzle piece possible, one that will never find the proper pieces to connect to because they probably don’t exist. Again, I thank you for reading this far. Also, to clarify, I’m not in need of any words of encouragement. Your good intentions is wasted on someone like me. I’m simply here to see if anything interesting becomes of this.

I feel ya, almost the exact problem as mine.

Don't want to shoot you down, but the way you've described yourself makes me feel you're a very egocentric person. You have a narrow view of what lies ahead of you because you keep thinking from your perspective. 'Perfection' isn't something that can be achieved, instead, aim for excellence. Make mistakes boldly and learn from them. You'll be surprised at how far you'll improve. If you keep thinking/ waiting for your dream partner, he/she will never come to you. Go out and socialise, get contacts, see how things will go on from there. The real world isn't filled with dreamers like you, some people like to get things done. I bet they'll be happy to listen to your story if you talked to them. Do you only write fiction? I suggest reading non fiction and other genres to expand your view- in a holistic sense. You can improve your imagination/ creativity by doing things that are not related to your area of speciality. Cheers

>>3 I feel like I should clarify a few things. Maybe I am egocentric but I feel like you misunderstood what I hope to acheive. I’m not after “success”. It might be easier to think of me as ppaying a different game to everyone else, or as someone off in their own world, where it has different rules and goals. I feel like there’s not a good word to describe this, a varient of the word “perfect” being an example of this. Often the path to success will result in straying from the purity you originally aimed for. By figuring out what people are after and finding different techniques and formulae that lead to extreme popularity and success, you stray from what you truly are. The thing about this path is that it can be very unclear where it begins. My aim is to reach the opposite end of this path, trying to create something pure. Maybe that sounds dumb but I have a kind of pride in the restrictions I set myself. I’m an extremist, all or nothing. My aim is to have a high quality of meaning and significance. Part of why I said the word paradox is because it’s highly unlikely that it’s possible. It’s a paradox because this approach to life/stories shouldn’t be taken, it being impractical, you could say. We all have our views on how the world works and what kind of path we should take.

I thank you for your honesty and advice but because of my stubbornness I can only appreciate your good intentions and agree to disagree.

Dude i also have very same problem that you do to the letter and my advice to you is to find a different means of expressing your thoughts if writing is not working then try telling stuff with images, and most importantly try finding someone who can help and support your ideas, however if you still want to write then write even if it is badly written then do not let it bother you just write and express your thoughts it does not matter if it is bad, any rough and dirty stone can be polished in to a masterpiece but if there is nothing to polish there is nothing that can be done, when i write stuff it tends to look more like a movie script without any character descriptions or locale details just dialogue, but because i have it roughly played out in my mind i add that on later it is like drawing scribbles, main point is write just start somewhere do not be afraid kick that stubborn stuff to the curb your work can be shit but as long as your idea and premise are interesting you make something great