I have a friend. Let's call her kk. KK is a girl, and she doesn't have good looks or whatever. I'm friends with her. I used to talk to her every night right after school on facebook. I was glad we were friends but as soon as I got to see her true colors, my own perception of "friends" blurred. I'm not judging her or anything,but I find it odd and unappealing in a way that I feel disgusted (somehow.)

Twitter.
- Twitter was the most noticeable social media that she often used, not facebook. Just by scrolling to kk's twitter makes you want to think "what is she doing with her life?" Kind of thing. She often regards herself as a "low-life, I-deserve-nothing kind of individual" Not to bully her but, the moment you give advice to her, she turns it down right away. A "self-pity" that goes on and on without end even though the advice given is already "there". Her tweets are mixed with sadness and happiness. I find it really odd that when she complains about her life, it's as if nothing can change. (though I told her it was possible to change like can you do something for a change geez.) I gave her advice that she wants, an advice that is reachable and realistic. But she often regarded herself as a, Let me say it again, "Low-life individual who has a "I-deserve-nothing" mind." It's really sad but at the same time, Maddening because you, yourself, is giving her help but she "accept" but refuses to use anyway. Isn't that....hysterically ridiculous? But I don't want you to change your opinion on kk when you read this. She's a nice person, but just.. a pity to look at the same time.

Facebook
She shares mostly of what she see's anime-ish in facebook and twitter, which is completely normal. But the fact that the caption is "HAHAHAHAHA" all the time is unbearably annoying. Imagine a serious picture with that caption? Turn-off right? For me, its okay. But it has to stop somehow.

Classroom
Awkward, shy, and sometimes out of place. But I'm still a friend to her. It's just really uncomfortable.


I'm not degrading her self-esteem or humiliating her. It's my way of describing her. I just feel uncomfortable on her mindset. I wanted to help her, truly. But I can't help a person who can't help themselves. It'll be useless. So I ask you know, Dollars community-


What the hell should I do? Give up on her or continue this mayhem of giving advice but never used at all? .. .. ..

P.S. kk is a personal friend. I'm really ranting right now because I can't take it anymore. The urge to unfriend her in my life is more than 50% and I don't want to do that.

Hello. If you really need to unfriend her because it makes you uncomfortable i hope that is for your own sake. I mean, not that “social structure” where you have to fit in ane have “”normal”” friends,, so it’s up to you. I think that is clear that she needs help somehow, and maybe what she is looking right now is a REAL REASON to change, like a “Wake Up Call” you know.
Try to make her understand how much you care about her and the consequences of the future (if she keeps going on with this life-attitude). It’s not okay, and it’s harmful, so let her know for real!
I would recommend to you to talk this personally with her if you got the chance, it’s always better. And remember that unless it’s really necessary, sadly you are not responsible of the way of living that she chose, but a friend in that path is always a good thing.
Finally, if she doesn’t accept it and somehow gets worse, look for adult help. Maybe some professional can talk to her and she finally open her eyes.
I hope this helps, good luck! 🍀

>>2 I tried doing that too. Talking to her personally about it, but I can’t “pop” her bubble just like that. She might think that I’m a bad person for talking about such matter. (She overthinks and is quite sensitive about things.) Though I would still thrive to do it. Anyways, she doesn’t involve her parents much on her life . And involving adults to the equation might make it worse..

Still, my last resort is consulting the adults. I can’t let her have this mindset further. Thank you for the advice ~

Me and my family is going on a trip. I might go offline for days. Hopefully there's feedback I can use because I am such in a desperate state to do something about this...

anyways, happy vacay everybody~

Small tip from an adult Riyugasaki: When people like this show up in your life, you have to remember that all you can do is make suggestions. You can't control others thoughts or decisions. So, even though these things make you uncomfortable, if she herself is not willing to make changes in order to improve her own quality of living/personality/outlook on life, there's not much you can do other than unfriend her and move forward. You'll come to realize that you have minimal fucks to give in life, and you need to give those fucks to yourself and the things that matter. Ultimately, your friendship with KK won't matter down the line, especially if, in the case you continue being friends, she ends up negatively affecting you (which is already happening, as this seems to be stressing you out). I think you know the solution, and I know it seems hard, but you'll feel better in time.

>>5 This helps. Somehow I'm starting to ignore her now and then. I did my first step weeks ago, deactivating my social media. (It's part of my way to reducing weight mentally and physically). To me, I'm already ready to let go of her and just give zero fucks about her. I actually gave up already, but the other me tells me that she can do better than this more than sulking over herself. Thanks for the advice nii.

(had the time to go online, net is good here)

>>6
No problem at all, glad it helped in some way.
I understand how you feel as well. Your compassion for her as a friend is still tugging at your heart strings telling you that she can do better. She probably can, but something that would be healthy (and something you've already started doing) is to take a step back and look at how it's affecting you. Ultimately, she will either make those changes and grow, or be stuck like this forever. If you staying around is stressing you out and causing negative impact, it's for the best you stop communicating with this person. :)

I am a normal girl that loves anime but unfortunately my mother thinks it’s a waste of time. I really don’t get it, I have good grades (I’m top 2 in my class), I’m not partying, I don’t have a boyfriend, overall I think I’m normal. I’ll understand it if she’s gonna say it in a nice way but she always calls me a “good for nothing brat”, she always compares me to my bestfriend, she calls me ugly and I really don’t feel loved. I have inferiority complex, I don’t have any confidence and I feel like trash. I may sound petty but I just wanna let it all out.