So. I have a.. Something. I don't wanna call it a problem, because it's not inherently bad I don't feel, however to myself I don't know how to really.. Handle it.

So what is it? Let's see..

I'm a 20 yr old dude, pretty normal childhood and followed that straight and narrow path of your typical rough n' rowdy guy. But this isn't a dating profile, just sorta setting who I am, or who I've been so far.

I grew up surrounded by guys, mostly. I'm close to my sisters, but I never really hung out with them growing up, y'know? I know how to tinker around with cars and bikes, metal is one of my favorite genres, etc etc. Stereotypical guy stuff (Not guy exclusive, but I shouldn't even have to disclaimer that. But there's always that one person I don't wanna tick off.)

ANYWAY. So hopefully I've painted a good picture without boring you guys and making it a profile.

I was never shamed or forced into liking that kinda stuff, I took a genuine interest in it. My parents and friends I'd think are open-minded. My dad, who on the outside is a gruff mechanic with grease stains somewhere on his face at all times, but he'll jam out to Taylor Swift or whoever if it's catchy enough. And me and my friends will shout-sing pop songs lyric for lyric to make ourselves laugh.

But, my environment was generally consistent, howe- "GOSH BUDDY YOU GONNA GET TO YOUR QUESTION. THIS AIN'T A BOOK, GET ON WITH IT . WE GET IT." You rightfully shout. So here we go..

I've been beginning to notice more.. Feminine.. Something, within myself. I don't even know what to call it. One example, I guess, would be.. Kinda disparaging guy clothes, because everything I see it either way too over the top, or just bland and everything's same-y.

Then, I see girl's clothing and outfits and think "Dang, what a cool/cute outfit." Or so. I kinda envy it in a way, cause like, dang you girls have so much expression in your outfit choices and colors and stuff. Meanwhile I take a look at guys and they all wear the same stuff but different colors and it's just boring.

And I just find myself, at some level, wishing I could wear stuff like that, or at least similar. Is that weird? Probably. At times I even passingly think "Man, it'd be rad to be a girl." And that sparked the initial "Hold up." and made me halt and take a look into my thoughts.

See, the more I think, I can't find anything within myself past just having a lowkey, vanity-driven desire to have the self-expression and coolness of girl's fashion side, contrast to what I feel is the boring, same-y/trendy side of men's "fashion"

I'm pretty secure with my general feelings, and I'm not scared to delve into who I could develop into going into the future, quite the opposite in that I'm kinda intrigued, but I dunno if I'm chasing a dirt trail or if there's more. Which is why I'm coming here, since, even if my friends would be cool, it's not something I'd wanna bust outta nowhere on em'.

This isn't the ONLY example, but it's one of the more concurrent ones, I guess. Is having, for a lack of better wording, a feminine side, just normal/nothing? Cause like, it's nothing too big outside of just inner-thoughts that never escape that passing phase of my day-to-day happenings.

Man I type up this huge post, but I couldn't have been more all over the place and time wasting. Good lord, me.

I feel you're looking for less of an "answer", and more to just validate your feelings. But you don't need that really.

You should do whatever you feel. The only real complications come with finding acceptance. More so with those surrounding you directly. Even with out their approval, you can find support in many others around the world.

P.S. Sensitive guys have bigger balls. It takes guts to be yourself and legitimately not give a damn about others perceptions.