Hey, so I posted a while back about my mom and I, and our rocky relationship and got some super amazing advice from some seriously great people. I'm hoping to get a little more advice on something maybe a little more important. My mom and I have a pretty terrible relationship. After having some serious trouble with mental illness my mom kicked me out to live with my father in Oklahoma. I never really reconciled things with my mom, but a few years have passed and I think we pretty much just swept things under the carpet. We talk from time to time, and ive started visiting.
during my last visit my mom asked if I would move in with her again for the summer just to see if things go well. and then if it does i can stay there for good. I got help for my mental illness ( On my own as a 16 year old might I add) and now I am so much better than I used to be. When I left it felt like a large part of why my mom kicked me out was to save face with her new boyfriend (now husband) and keep the appearance of the perfect nuclear family. It hurt a lot when I left. It felt like my mom didnt believe I was good enough to be apart of her new family. When I moved in with my dad I knew he'd be over protective, but he was super overprotective. Im 18 now. I dont have a license or a job. I dont even have any friends or acquantances. I do an online school so I dont get out of the house much. but my dad is supportive of my dreams and pays attention to me and cares about my mental health. He's made me feel safe and loved which I realized was something I never got from my mother.
I care about my dad, and i haven't fixed things completely with my mom but Im genuinely considering moving back in with her.my mental health is very important to me but living here it feels like my life has been standing still. it's been almost three years and the only thing about my life that has changed is me. i want to go to the art school in colorado and i think ill have more opportunities to find a job and eventually move out on my own. i dont think those are things i can have here.
im sorry i think i ranted a little more than i meant to.
my point is

Do i move in with my mom and give up my mental and emotional safety net for a better chance at starting my life,
Or do I stay with my dad where I know im safe and loved, but will probably get a super late start in my own life?

i honestly dont have anywhere else to turn to for advice.. any opinion would help..

I don't know what you should do living wise but, definitely get a license. That will make it easier for a job and independence. Hoped this helped. Have a nice day.

Honestly, your father will always love and support you no matter where you are in the world. If the opportunities that you are looking for are elsewhere, it is worth reaching for them. The only thing that's going to change between you and your father is the distance.

Being that your father is a huge part of your life it seems, I'd recommend that you have a serious conversation with him, explaining that your goals are elsewhere and see if he will back your decision to pursue education in Colorado.

As for the situation with your mother... Its really hard for me to say. Considering you would be living with her while you went to school, I'd recommend you clear the air with her and let her know how her actions in the past had harmed you, and all the self work that went into repairing yourself. Moving into a toxic household would not help your studies at all, so its going to take effort to create a livable environment -mentally and socially- for you.