A few weeks ago, while I walked to my class, I had someone come up to me and asked me if I had heard what had happened to someone else in that class, well call him Dave. Something important to know about Dave is that most people at my school have a very strong dislike toward him. He comes from family where he's neglected and his younger brother is favored. In an attempt to gain exceptance from his father he tries to be just like him by spewing out hate that, if you look closely enough and listen to what he's saying, you can tell he doesn't really believe in. But because he's done this since he was a kid he's always been cast aside or attacked by the rest of society. At school he gets bullied; He' be sitting on a bench talking to a friend and out of no where someone will yell something like "Go f*cking kill yourself". He's also been beaten up on multiple occasions. I know he's an asshole, I understand why everyone hates him, but he's someone who I call a friend. So, when this guy came up to me he told me that "Dave got arrested for making a school shooting threat". At first I laughed. It was a laugh of disbelief. At first I assumed that, you know, he made an inappropriate joke and was facing unfair consequences, and that the only reason people took it so seriously was because he's the perfect school shooter stereotype. He has a bad home life, very few friends, a history of violence, and gets bullied by his peers. The next day I found out in my group chat, that he had a physical, written out, hit list. I was still in denial, so I kept on telling myself "It's just a joke, my friend would never want to cause harm to anyone else". After thinking about it over and over again, I remembered something he had to me. He knew the code to his uncle's gun safes, but his uncle didn't know. This was the thought that pulled me back into reality, and made me see that it wasn't just a joke. The entire time I've known Dave, I've been a shitty friend. I watched people treat him like shit and said nothing, I've even laughed along with some of the things they've said, because I didn't want them to think that I was "like him", and I hate myself for it. I failed him as a friend. I let him get to the point that he felt that no one cared. I've been so stressed for the last few weeks because I let my friend down and now I don't know what's happening with him. I don't know what his sentence was, I don't know if he's okay. I've tried contacting his dad to find out if he was okay but he hasn't responded. I don't know what to do, and I feel so helpless. I've tried talking to my other friends at school and all but one of them has responded with something along the lines of "fuck that guy". No one that I know can relate to what I'm going through right now, because they weren't willing to look past all of his negative characteristics and find the good in him. I do feel the need to say that I am not defending him. If he was going to do that, he deserves to face the consequences. I just don't know what to do. Am I wrong for still caring about him even though he wanted to do this?

No, you're not wrong for caring about another human being despite what hes done. If you ask me, youre a good friend.

But let me tell you what good friends do;

good friends see the shitty thing their friends do, tell them they're doing shitty things, and try to teach them how to not do the shitty things.

Let me start off by saying that the past is the past, whats done is done, and thank GOODNESS action was taken before anything truly devastated and horrible could've happened. But know, what you need to do is see how you can learn with this. To change, so that the next time something like this happens, you'll be ready.

Now this is mostly my opinion, so feel free to disregard this part, but what I would've done is try to encourage him into a better direction. I.E to help him understand that he was being an asshole... He probably needed someone like you, a good example of what a good human being should be to help him become a better person. Now this could've gone several ways; he could've changed entirely and become a better person, or he could've just stayed the same. Theres no real way of knowing as it depends on a lot of factors..

But I'd also like to point something out; none of this is your fault. Yes, you could've stepped up and helped him out, defend him, shown him the errors of his ways etc.. But that could've done absoltuely nothing and all of this could've still happened. I'm going to go ahead and assume you're the same age as "Dave" and that you two are in highschool or whatever equivalent you have where you are. The people who have failed you are the adults; the people who are supposed to be there to help you. Why had no teachers noticed he was being bullied? What if he had reached out to someone and a teacher decided he wasnt worth the time and effort? Thats what bothers me

Now, what you should take from this, is to /always/ be kind to others. Even people who dont seem like they deserve it. Everyone needs love and a little compassion. A little goes a long way. Try smiling at a stranger on your way to school/work. Talk to that cool girl with the anime pencil case you saw, and tell her you like her Attack on Titan pin. Try to be the best person you can be, so that everyone else around you can take from it and hopefully be better people, too.

Sorry if this is lengthy, I'm not even sure this is going to help much, but I hope I at least made you feel a little better? Good luck to you, anonymous :)