My life has taken a turn for the worse in the past six months. It started with getting kicked out of my parents, and having to completely support myself while still in high school. Now, My first girlfriend left me after us dating for two years. She took my virginity and she was the reason I felt like I wanted to live. I’m now 18 and she’s 20. My room mate which is her gay best friend just sees me as a complete burden as to when I am home all I do is mope. He left his phone home recently and I snooped through the conversation between the two of them over the past couple of weeks. My now ex has already been screwing around and she may have even been cheating on my prior to her dumping me. It makes me feel literally dead inside. Now I’m in a complete rut and have no clue what to do. I aimed towards taking my own life the other day, however I only passed out and woke up hours later. I’m holding myself together now, but I feel like I can’t trust anyone. I can’t afford to try to put myself in a better environment. And my life is just spiraling out of control. What the hell am I supposed to do?

Travel. Get some entropy in your life.
Witness what purposes other people find.

haha, that's hell indeed. i can see ow desperate you are, but have you ever thought 'why are you alive up till now'? you are still alive right niw for a purpose because life needs you. we all get our true love whether now or later, we all end up in harsh break ups and these rejections and break ups have different levels of pain. sweetheart, i truly understand your pain because i can relate to what my personal life is like, but here am i on the internet helping people around and trying to get cheerful and enjoy my time the best way i can, why don't you do the same? you cant trust anybody? yes, you shouldn't this is a life lesson which i have been taught for the 100th time, but i never learn. we all prefer ourselves more than others, only rare people which you can see a 1 in a billion who puts others before themselves, this triggers pain to that person as well leading to plenty of exploitations, but you kow yhat when both people share the same way, it ends up in a true pure friendship. I'm speaking of relationships, friendships, and companionships as well, in all its forms. i got much and much to say, i will have an endless blabbering about life and my wisdom, but if you need something, don't ask me only, ask others out ther,e but be sure the person you're asking is a positive one, if your heart and mind both tell you something will go wrong or even if you get a slight hint of it, don't ignore it!! listen to your heart and mind because they expect a better future for you than you do, its eventually will turn out to be true. life is a form of vibration, its not, but its an elemnt in our life, so try being positive by doing activities you like, your hbbies, favourite music or books, and eat fresh food, drink lots of pure water, and do plenty of exercise. listen to calming subliminal, operas and symphonies, orchestras and classical music which relaxes the body and mind (speaking form my own personal opnion) lkisten to subliminals and positive affirmiation, AND NOT BIOKINESIS BECAUSE ITS UNTRUE I REPEAT!! most importantly, spen an hour or 2 listening to all the solfeggio frequencies, you can listen to them while youre busy reading or mediating, but don't do excercises that needs focus since your concentration needs to mostly be on the brain frequencies itself. i promise no matter how depressed, feeling bad you are, it heals! it did so a multitude of time with me, so trust me! oh, i have to remind you, you need to trust people only on light issues, not the heavy ones because human beings lack humanity, isn't it funny? it might also drag you down. never be depressed, always smile, you are unique and special in your own way. te fact that you are trying to get out of your labyrinth and seeking help is because you are a butterfly caught in a spider's web, but you know that if you stop struggling for escape and loom for ther ways out, youll eventually find yourself out while killing the spider without evern realizing it, don't you think? perhaps you should be more positive and if you ever have any problems, come and share it with me and the others, we are all one family here. the fact you came here is that you are a beautiful human being from the inside and you have that tiny trust left in you where you trut us by telling us your issues. consider me your sister because even when we are all anonymous, we still love each toher because we are all one family. no body deserves your tears, no body deserves your depression, those who care for you and love yo won't make you sad in the first lace. you should only cry for those who support you and REALLY show it with a proof, not to those -two-faced people with a thick mask on their face hiding. you are precious to yourself and to all humanity, youre a special living being on this earth, don't give in to such troubles and shit happening ut there, don't give up because of some negativity and pain. who knows? it must have been happening to you to compensate for the worst things which could have been happening now. there is worst, just may you be blessed from them and seek happiness and prosperity wherever you go. run away from negative people and their thoughts, avoid problems. be alittle selfish and love yourself, be egoistic dear, but don't go overboard, you got what I'm trying to tell you hear? you are such an awesome peoson for tolerating all these bad events in your life. i truly respect you and you deserve my time and my everything to get your help. don't you give up! and always stay strong! smile, just smile right now, aren't you smiling? smile or ill get out of that screen and force the smile on your face! i don't want a fake smile, i don't want it wry, i don't want a smirk, i want it to be true! the very true one! forget about the past, you are you and this is your own furture than you mend by your own hand. laugh! just stand up and start dancing already! life is too short to sulk about misfortune. we all love you here, so stoo thinking about whatsoever hapoened and start walking, i mean RUNNING your way and footsteps to front! move on!

sorry for grammatical mistakes and spelling mkistakes, was typing quick, ^_^

https://www.blinkist.com/magazine/posts/5-books-will-change-life?utm_source=outbrain&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=20180129_OU_PRO_ChangeYourLife_Desktop_Universal&utm_content=002764fb22f997ce8b2a8f263a167d16fb&utm_term=00371c58611ef6c7a5b43fd7d12447c954&install_callback=099dd41b10a312031590ba5d30f3f8a5-00ce46e18505e0daf2c8e199828ac209e6

Thank you Amore, this honestly meant a lot to me that you took who knows how long to write all the out and give me some form of hope. I will keep this all in mind and do my best to keep moving forward. Thank you.

all the best wishes for you sweetheart! you deserve the best!

I recommend u try the dollars discord support channel. They helped me after I tried to commit suicide due to verbal abuse from my father over the past nine years. Because of them, I have a new out look on life. It's normal to try and not trust anyone when going through something like this. But I promise you, that ur going to find someone to lean on. Personally, I still haven't found that person, but until that, I have the dollars and anime as inspiration and motivation to keep going. Find something to live for. Find your passion and a road u can follow. What snapped me out of my depression with the help of the dollars, was a school-girl crush on a boy who doesn't even know I exist. Find land set foot on and walk across. Find driftwood to hang onto in this ocean. Your strong, and I know that you can. Also, once you find something to live for again, the world looks incredibly beautiful, trust me, it's exhilarating and you don't want to miss it. It will change you forever. Ur girlfriend didn't deserve you. You are too good for her.