I hate him. I despise him, I hate him. He's rude, he's mean, he's betrayed my trust as a best friend and as a person. He's hurt me time and time again.
But he's never done it intentionally.
Why do I feel so confused?
Why do I keep thinking about him when the memories of our happy conversations bring me pain?
Why do I feel so childish for loving him, but I can't deny that I do?

i passed through the same stage. write down everything bad on a paper. and on another paper, write allthe happy things. and believe me, youll find out he did it intentionally, but y ou think he is t ooinnocent. what if he wanted to push you away indirectly? i want to help you, but i can't really know what to say because i am personally unsettled. however, if there is something i can do, don't hesitate. if ylou need more serious help, i can get some of my leaugue to dothe job. howver, don't feel pa in. listen to some music, knit, draw, dance, r eada book, do your hobbies and try your best to forget about him. make him feel that he has lost you. change yourself n the personality as well as physically by a newlook and try to compliment him in front of his family, relatives, and best friends, but not in front of him. i t could be infront of him though, but never eye him and make sure its indirect. for now, that's the only tactic i know.l be also sure to be more succeful than him.

Thanks a lot! I always see you around, offering people support, and I just wanted to say thank you for being so dedicated to the people here. A little goes a long way~
Also, I've always had this thing where I crush on guys. A LOT. There isn't any time where I don't, at least, have a little affection for some dude. And it's annoying, because I don't want to feel like my happiness hinges on other people, but I don't know what to do about it.
Any suggestions?

omg you too???!!!! since i came to Egypt, and my environment have been surrounded with boys and that was what ive been doing. however, its not a crush. you find them attractive because they areall the ones you feel secure when your subconscious imagines your with them, soyou express it as a crush feeling in reality. that was the conclusion i reached to. try to be good friends with them and eventually, youll find among them as you g rowup and as they become more mature, a single person who isonly the one you feel most secure towards, the only one who is worth it and the person who will never take your worth for granted. meanwhile, consider them all as your friends and be kind to all of them and you must get to know each of them better tobe able to judge and to lose the crush towards the people who are unworthy so that you wouldn't fall into the trap of love having someone tick you like wh a t they did to me or play with you or exploit you. you got what i mean. when you get a certain guy whom you feel fine towards, ame sure you both share mostly everything and that y oucan mix well together, then put a list ofadvantages and disag dvantages. rmember that time is agreat resolver which by maturity and equanimity, you will be able to dicover tour only and true lover. don't be in a rush and choose wisely as well as be patient.
sorry for grammatical and spelling mistakes, ive been typing in quickly, lol ^_^