This is going to be a long post so if you are willing to read this thank you in advance. I don't even know where to start from since there are so many things I want to talk about...

First of all, I have been working as a full time programmer since July. This is my first job ever, I started it right after graduating from engineering school. Since my 3rd year of uni I have feared having to get a job because I knew I am not the kind of person who can go out every day, do work, socialise with people, get up early etc. I also have some poor health condition which makes me feel extremely tired after about 4-5 hours of doing anything else than staying at home. I don't know why but it's been like this for a long time. I became aware of this problem in my last year of highschool when I had to take extra math and physics lessons after a regular highschool day which consisted of about 6 hours of classes.

At uni, I avoided over-tiring myself by skipping classes I would find boring and useless. So, on average I used to spend about 20 hours there (3-4 days a week, I would always take at least a day off). That, plus the time I would spend doing homework or studying, varying from 5 to 10 hours, depending how much work I had to do. This went on for 4 years and I got really used to this lazy schedule so in my 4th year I was really terrified that everything would come to an end. Also, during the last years, waking up became a real struggle for me since EVERY EVERY morning I find it so hard to open my eyes and get out of bed, it's so freaking tiresome I can't even put it into words. Notice that I said "waking up", not "waking up early" since this happens to me even if I sleep till 11-12 . Never have I ever in the last 4 years felt refreshed after waking up. Literally never.

The problem is that now I am trying to deal with this at work and don't really know what to do. Almost every day I feel extremely tired in the afternoon, I have headaches and I can barely keep my eyes open. I feel ok until 2-3pm, but after that I just can't keep up anymore. I am drinking two cups of coffee, one in the morning and the other one at 12-1pm...To make it clear, I don't hate my job, I like what I am doing and people are really nice here, but I just can't keep up with the schedule. Not to mention that I am always 1 hour late and I never work overtime to make up for the lost time, but since I finish everything on time I never had any problem with deadlines or so.

I have been really depressed these past few months because I can't function like a normal person. I have been thinking about all kinds of short term solutions like getting a long vacation or even quitting work for a few years. I am still living with my parents so I don't need to worry about money yet, I could just spend a few more years unemployed, but I know this won't solve anything, it would just make me even lazier.

I am feeling terrible. I have to struggle every day...When I leave and take the bus home I usually keep my eyes closed ( I am surprised I didn't fall asleep yet) and when I get home my head feels so heavy that I can barely take a bath or watch some anime. For example this Friday my head was hurting so bad that I fell asleep at 7:30 pm and I slept until Saturday, 11 am...During the weekend, I don't really feel like doing anything except staying in bed and I refuse going out because I feel like I need to get my batteries charged for the next week. I am scared and I don't wanna live the rest of my life like this...

I suggest you go see a doctor, this is very likely health related. Several of your symptoms match up with chronic fatigue syndrome, which could be exacerbated by hormonal imbalances (from what I've researched, CFS usually is not directly caused by another medical condition. However, CFS is difficult to diagnose and you could also just have a different condition where chronic fatigue is a symptom). Also, it sounds like this condition is modestly new to you since you got through engineering school with it, so that makes things a little murky.

additionally, anemia (lack of iron) or, again, hyperthyroidism (thyroid is in the neck, large part in hormones, uses iodine) might affect/be the cause.



I think you should consider reading a few case studies or testimonies from people with CFS, and schedule a doctor's appointment. Depending on what the doctor says, you might want to also consider seeing a dietician (vitamin B, potassium, and magnesium are pretty important, to begin with). In the meantime, managing your stress and pain is very important. Yoga, massages, therapy, etc.

I'm currently a student in the medical field so I'm pretty far away from being an expert. Just don't let this control your life.