I know that not much will amount from this, but honestly I'm running out of options and I genuinely, for once in my life do not know what to do, or how to help.
I'm friends with this person. Let's call them Mary (not their actual name). I found out about a year and a half ago that they're depressed. On and off they've been struggling with it, and even have attempted suicide two times in the past. They regret failing.

I've been helping them, but at this stage it's not enough. Recently we have an argument (it's all solved now) but that set something pretty big off. They mentioned that they plan to kill themselves this year. They also mentioned that they have set a date and planned it out meticulously, but refuse to tell me the date. I'm constantly worrying for their life.

I'm unsure on what to do. They've trusted me with this very personal information. They say nothing I can do will help them and that they're adamant on attempting and succeeding this time. I don't know if I should tell a professional or a trusted adult because it might escalate to something that I don't want. They've already been through many psychologists and even recently got put on more anti-depressants and vitamin D to combat their lack of going outside.

There is actually a lot more history between us, despite us being good friends. Two examples include love.
She asked me out once and confessed her feelings to me. This was about halfway through last year. I said to her that I didn't like her and that I'm not interested in a relationship. Things were rocky after that for about a month, but we quickly became close friends again. About half a year later, I decided to tell her a secret I had been hiding for about two years - that I'm Gay.
Tears ensued. Both from her, and me (out of guilt). Once again, another month. She even went so far as to ask: Would you love me if I were a guy.

that really hurt.
(we're once again friends).

I also recently told her that I've been having urges to hurt myself. Probably not the wisest idea. She's been set on my 'rehabilitation' and will not budge on the notion that she's going to help me before she ends her life. I still haven't told her that the reason I've been feeling so depressed is that I feel inadequate as a friend and that my lack of effort is going to lead to her death.. I feel that it'll complicate things and overall make her feel worse. So I'm keeping it to myself for now.

Anyhow. I have no doubt shared too much information, but I need to give you guys some information if I even hope to get a sound reply. I don't have anyone to tell that I feel I can trust. Time only goes forward.

Thank you so much if you read all this. <3

Sorry for the depressing post. I just need help.

Distraught is the right word. The situation feels like it's coming from all sides here. Here's a tap on the virtual back for having the courage to seek help (even if it's from something as shady as the internet) *tap*. I also want to take the time to affirm that you're a good friend for sticking this whole thing out and that it's completely normal to worry about how you'll handle the situation since you care so much about her.

Living with someone who has suicidal tendencies, I can say that there's nothing you can really do to prevent the actual action from happening. Accepting this is not apathy. There's a lot that goes on within a person and this is aside from what they communicate to us. Removing yourself from the responsibility of her life will put you in a better place to be there for her.

I can tell you've done a lot for her already so I'm not sure if I can say anything that will cause any difference. Your presence already does a lot of good (since it's mighty obvious she cares about you). Maybe introducing her to a support group (once she's ready) and having a hobby you can both invest in will prove as a nice addition. Those with clinical depression benefit a lot from exercise as well.

I exercise regularly with the person I live with and it helps loads! We also count reasons to live and go on walks every week. I'm suggesting these since it sounds like all the therapy's not having much effect right now. Not a sure fire formula but it's something, right?

If I missed anything, feel free to keep elaborating. I'm sure the others on this site will have helpful things to say. I'll check back regularly. :) Thank you so much for sharing your story.

Hi, I doubt you still check back here regularly, but regardless I would feel awful if I didn't say anything in reply. That and I really have to thank you. Yes, it may be over some place as shady as the internet, but your support really helped. It's a little sad honestly that this is where I went to 'vent' my thoughts. Your reply couldn't have been better formulated though.

I feel better even reading it now.

As an update though, things are travelling well - shaky, but well. I've confided with a few others, and found some adult that I'm comfortable with updating every once in a while. It's nice also, because everything I'm overthinking can be sorted out and not become knotted and unmanageable.

However, I can't help but worry but this is just false hope. There's no doubt that things could take a turn for the worse at any moment. I know things are being done about her though. And even for myself. I just hope they're being handled the right way, and rather than just upping the dose, they're taking a more hollistic approach, not just considering the medical path.

For now I'll try be there for her as much as I can. It's complicated though. And we're both unbearably petty sometimes (we often go periods without acknowledging each other because we're in an argument). And while at times that silence can be comical, it can also be hurtful.

It's a mix of good and bad but any immediate threat has been quelled to an extent. So thank you for worrying and going out of your way to send a message, to someone you don't even know! Continue to be an amazing person~

Thanks. (Yes I said it again [I've probably repeated myself many times throughout this message but I don't have the time to correct it at the moment; school's a pain])

~