*THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE THEMES, DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE OK WITH SLIGHTLY GRAPHIC CONTENT*

Ok to give some context I was an 18 year old short skinny female and a virgin.
I met a guy on tinder and we agreed to hook up, we talked online and a few days later he come over to my place. I had made it clear that we would not have sex and that I was into bdsm which he was cool with, we made out and stuff and then he tied me to the bed which I was ok with, he begun to finger me to the point that it was really painful but I was too embarrassed to tell him to stop, the then asked if he could blindfold me and I gave my consent, he then without warning me tried to stick his dick in my mouth, he told me to open my mouth when I didn't and I was really uncomfortable, he kept pressuring me and I finally opened my mouth. I was the worse experience of my life, it was painful and my first time doing something like that and he had no consideration on how it felt for me, I somehow begged him to stop and get a towel before I threw up which I did.
It was the most embarrassing and traumatising thing in my life and I've been too scared to tell anyone because I feel responsible of it and I just want to know is it my fault?

It's really tricky when it comes to miscommunication and sex. It's wrong that they pressured you into doing something you didn't want to. You should make your feelings clear, even if it's a bit late. Peer pressure and sex simply DO NOT mix.

They were being inconsiderate to a major extent, but the ability to communicate may have made all the difference.

If you're into bdsm, you definitely need ground rules.

No means no. (unless that's your thing, then you need a safeword too.)

Hey im sorry to hear what happened it sucks, but the fact that her pressured you into it after you already felt uncomfortable and had agreed not to have sex before hand doesn't sit right with me for sure, but im sorry to say as a 16yr old guy that about 70-80% of us are assholes especially where i live so it you did want to go to the police the guy you were with could say it wasn't sex as "he never put it in" or something stupid like that, and its triky like this other person said, as its online its difficult to read people and determine weather there a creep or not which is why its best when you meet someone in person who you met online in a crowed place like reasurant or town where you safe as there are other people and you can determine for your self weather there nice or a ass, im begining to ramble but what this guy did to you doesn't seem right to me

>Ok to give some context I was an 18 year old short skinny female and a virgin.
And what are you now? A 100 year old fat lady?
I mean, come on, you don't get old or fat when someone tries to stick their dick into your mouth, you know? You don't even lose your virginity. All in all this introduction was simply stupid.
Since you wanted to know if it was your fault, I'd say it was for some reasons >>2 mentioned. Plus, you should expect that someone who is into BDSM might have a sadistic side and might like to force you into doing things you don't like, you know?
Reality is sadly not comparable to fifty shades of gray, even if you might wish it was.

>hook up on Tinder - the STD app
>go over to his house
>"lol tie me to the bed and stick your fingers in me bby"
"Why are you trying further sexual contact!! pal wtf?"
Are you retarded?

>>4>>5 you two calm down a bit, don't make fun of them. im sure it was a traumatic experience for them

I'm 22 and I'm still a virgin... nothing sexual ever happens to me, not oral, not anything :(. Honestly though, I think #2 has answered your question.

I' m sure you've learned your lesson, but as my older bro said: "All men are wolves." Inviting guys to your house is somewhat an invitation already. Some guys would say he would never have sex, but hey, boys will always be boys.

I also think that #2 is completely right. In the future, i think that it may be better to meet anyone you meet online in a more public area. That way if you find yourself in a similar situations to this one, you can build a confidence around them to speak out when you feel uncomfortable.

To answer your question however, the fault may be yours simply for not speaking out when you were uncomfortable, however he is also in the wrong for not asking or concerning himself with your comfort. Therefore, the fault may be on you both. Regardless, I think you will be safe to and should speak about this to someone close to you to receive comfort for such an event to happen to you.

From what you're saying, honestly I don't think it is exactly a sexual assault. Inviting him to your house and letting him tie you up OBVIOUSLY will end up in sex.

Plus, should have stopped the moment it hurts. Pain means you are not turned on at all and it's totally fine to say, "hey, you suck balls at fingering, stop this shit, like, right now please?". When you have said that and he still forced his way with you, it is then a sexual assault.

And you know what, maybe you're not really into BDSM after all.

This is sexual assault.

Okay, #1 you are not to blame for this situation. If you are uncomfortable with anything that is going on your partner should respect that. Furthermore, this is sexual assault. You set boundaries and he accepted them, nothing more or less. Make sure to try to be more careful with certain people you may associate yourself with, for you are #1 priority, no one else.