So, I'm a bit nervous about this. It is something I have always wanted to do, yet I'm so nervous. I keep thinking about my grandma and her serious M.S. and how my grandpa is taking care of her by himself, with the occasional nurse that comes by. I am also thinking about my friends, and seeing how they kept worrying about me when i told them i am going on halloween. Yeah, Halloween. And that I'm going to be a 19D (Cavalry Scout, for those in need of knowing what it is). Like I said, it is something I have always wanted to do, but I cant help but wonder what would happen to everyone if I didnt make it back home. Im imagining how my mom would feel, grandparents, friends, dad, and I hate to see people i know sad, or crying. Especially if there is nothing i can do about it. Sometimes i have dreams where its just my face, and the background looks like an explosion, but then i start melting. There are some other weird dreams too. But, I think my mind is going through the what if scenarios and picking the worst. However, I feel that it something I still want to do, but also something I feel that I must do. It might not be bad, but also i keep thinking with everything that is going on now, something may go down.
I just Don't want people to be worry about me. Because it makes me think those what ifs. Ya know?
Anyways, I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks.

It's important to know that your family loves you and that they will, though maybe reluctantly, still back your decision, especially if you're this determined about it. Good luck ~ ~

Yeah, it helps knowing they have my back with my decision. But i cant help but to keep worrying about them. Thanks for the response!