Earlier this year I attempted suicide. What o have never been open about is that it wasn't my first it was my second in the same day.

I was dealing with a break up that turned into a fight that turned into the girl telling everyone about it. That is pretty normal. What wasn't is that the pastor from my church heard rumors and he got involved.

It escalated from me cursing at her to the rumor that I threatened to kill her family. One thing is getting heated with someone in a fight and exchanging harsh words, it is another to actively threaten their well being and their family.

The pastor reacted to that and with no hesitation he kicked me out. The church I was attending for years. I didn't get the chance to explain that it wasn't true as I wasn't told much and just got told I was a criminal.

This same pastor was the one I communicated about depression and suicidal thoughts that arose from the breakup, and they weren't limited to the break up. It was a lot to do with abusive situations etc, etc.

So what happens after?

I hide in my room for a year and the rumors escalate to the point that I have no more friends. No one talks to me anymore and in my weakened state I didnt say anything.

It got to the point that I was decides on to commit suicide but the moment I actually pierced some skin i stopped. I wasn't going to do it. Then my roommate walked in and she bitched me out. When she saw the cut she told me that she had no sympathy for me. She told me that I was scum. So I went inside the bathroom to finish the job.
My roommate was part of that church.

Of course I wasn't successfull as I am alive.

Though everyone found out.

Here is the thing though. I expected for people to back off but instead what happened is that my roommate and her friend who where part of the church decided to tell my ex girlfriend who they knew she hated me. They alongside the pastor told her that since I was capable of attempting suicide that meant that I was capable of hurting her and then proceeded to encourage her to request a restraining order against me using the fights we had on text messages 8 months before.

I wanted to tell that story because I haven't been able. Also I am afraid of what they would do next.

I guess I an asking the dollars for help. These people are not going to stop finding ways to hurt me.
Even when I moved out of the state I had to come back for the restraining order. They all knew I was not even in the are and that I moved out of the state. So moving away is not going to stop them.

I am better now from depression but that won't change where these people com from. Could I get help from the dollars regarding these matter?

The situation you are in is aweful! I am so sorry and so mad that anyone would have to go through something like this! I'm not sure how I can help eccept support. What they did to you is aweful and something no on eshould have to go through. I am extremely proud that you pushed through it! I wish the best for you and don't let anyone get you down!

Hey.
Quite a story you got there.

Look, people are assholes. They band together and form groups to feel strong and mighty. For this feeling they sacrifice people, such as yourself in this case. Don't take it too personal I guess.
Be the bigger person and shrug it off. Try to look at it from a distance and you will realize that these "people" are just animals craving satisfaction. They act according to their feelings, not logic or knowledge. They are afraid of being left out and belittle others due to lack of their strength. Religious groups are especially fond of this. I never got why I would join one of those when I can make my moral rules perfectly fine by myself and overall don't stand much to gain from people lacking self-determination.

You don't need them. And they are worth exactly as much as you decide. If you don't care about them, then they become irrelevant. Try to be strong, you can do it. Keep your head high, there's so much more to experience.

If you need to talk to me privately, I will always be here for you. We are all one family aren't we? I'll try my best to save you and help you solve your problems. Just no matter what happens, suicide is not the solution.


Email me at Amore.dollars@gmail.com