I don't know what's wrong with me.

I started off the school year feeling optimistic. I had perfect grades, an A+ average, and a high self esteem. Then something happened, and my grades started to teeter at the edge of an A-. My goal for the year is to end on highest honors. It couldn't be that hard.

Now, I'm failing every other quiz and test in my two hardest classes. I've managed to keep them to an A average, but I'm certain it'll change too soon. I need to keep my grades until January, and I don't know how I'll manage. The worst thing about it is that all my other classmates (who've been at my level for the past two years at my trash school) are doing ridiculously good. I can't do it. My anxiety makes it hard for me to focus, and I end up breaking down when seeing my grades (conveniently located online for my parents, who think I'm getting straight A+s, to monitor at all times).

Does anyone have any tips on how I can improve my school experience and possibly reduce my stress? Thanks.

oh yes, and by the way:

My parents and peers are incredibly judgemental with grades. My school's different, you could say. Many of the people here judge you by if you're on highest honors, what you got on the test, etc. It's a toxic system since the school is the one of the hardest in the state and all my friends are ridiculously smart, so someone mediocre at many things just...fails.

What school year are you? Middle school, high school, or college? It all depends on how hard the subject/course is.

In college the higher level courses, at least the one's I'm in, are way harder than anything I've ever experienced. I'm going for electrical engineering and the only way I could get straight A's is if I never slept, or won the lotto. I work to have a roof over my head and food on the table.

Everyone will hit a wall when they can't really slack off anymore, maybe you are hitting that wall. You just need to put more time into your courses if you really want to get that A. I put in about 60+ hours a week, including lectures and labs, for my courses. It is still not enough though lol.

Highest honors is impossible for me, since I don't have a free ride through college. I have to work and I would rather spend that 15-20 hours doing schoolwork.

It might not be subjects you are good at either. There is too many factors as to why you aren't doing as good as you hoped. I care more about learning the material opposed to grades. I know more material than others who have aced courses in the past too.