I've realized I'm the best example of how not to be raised as a child. Because of how often I "messed up" when I was younger and having to be punished and lectured by my parents I've always had to work toward something they've wanted, I can rarely remember times when we both wanted the same thing. They would keep me from doing things I wanted to do and kept me inside so once I became an adult I started doing the things I wished I could have done when I was younger.

But when I turned 18 I ran away from home, finished highschool, and had no backing up for college. So now Im 19,working a dead end job, and I have no idea what I want from my life. I see my friends getting out of the town we grew up in and having great lives and I'm stuck in a town where everyone hates me. There was a time where I was an asshole because I felt I had the right to be,(I was taking after my parents) but that just made me hated by the vast majority. I know some people are saying "It can be completely the fault of your parents," anytime I went after something I felt I was good at for example sociology and poetry I brought up to my parents and they flat out told me I'm distracting myself from whats important, like learning about things that would make money. So after forcibly being made to stop going after the things I wanted Im left with an empty feeling from not going after anything I was passionate about and now I can't find that passion again.. and even if I did Im still left here to rot

Save up and have a look in your country for different places to live, when you have enough move there and find work once you're there.

A new place would be a good start. There you can try new things, get to know new people, but also you'll have more space from your family, if they're toxic it's better to talk to them less.

If you can find some space you can start pursuing what you actually enjoy, it might take awhile to start again, but you know what makes you happy, nobody else does.