So, I'm a lesbian. I've known for years now, but I have only told a few select people from middle school. Unexpected things happened after I graduated, and I ended up going to a Christian high school in an area where I know nobody.

It's been around a year or two since I started attending this school, but there is a major issue I've encountered.

This school, and the people at this school, are hella homophobic.

In the student-handbook, it states that "Homosexuality is not allowed in accordance with Christian beliefs." Which I don't know is even legal in California... but whatever.

For a while I thought it was just some religious thing that comforted staff members and parents, but it's more than that. Apparently, if the administration finds out you (a student) are gay, you are forced to attend "special" counseling sessions at the school.

So many kids have gone to detention for having a pride flag, or mentioning that their gay. And a lot of kids who were outed by classmates ended up having to take their own time to talk with some counselor about their choices.

My family doesn't know I'm gay, my new friends here don't know I'm gay, not a single classmate knows I'm gay, and it's suffocating.

Not gonna lie, I'm getting hella frustrated as a teenage lesbian who has never had the opportunity to explore my sexuality.

I don't know what to do. Half of my friends have hinted at being grossed out by gay people. Even my teachers aren't safe to talk with.

I'm looking for options on what to do. Should I come out to my friend group? Should I try and change my school? Should I just hide for a few years 'til college?

Also, I'm looking for some sort of outlet. Any chat groups for lesbians or websites or anything like that?

Thanks for reading - kt

To be honest I think that the best thing to do is weigh the benefits of each option. If you choose to share this info with your riends, family, teachers, etc., that would take a lot of effort and courage on your part, because that could very easily backfire, espescially considering the homophobic attitude that your school harbors. On the bright side, there is a chance that things will go well if you find trustworthy people. In addition, even if it does go badly, just wait a couple years and then you're in college so you don't have to dewal with their crap anymore anyway. If you don't tell them you'll have to put up with the lack of freedom and the stifling sense of pressure as you have this important issue on your mind that you cannot let off your chest. In the end though, no one choice is objectively better. I wish you luck and hope hings go well for you no matter what you do.

I'll be completely honest with you and I think that's not right to deny who you would want to spend your life with and what gender they would be. I would tell the people that already know and see what they think on how to handle it and then take it from there. Stay strong friend ♡

If I were you, I wouldn't say something. But if you feel like talking about it, talk to your friends from middle school first and ask them for advice.
The only thing I would suggest if you're totally uncomfortable with your current situation is, change your school. There is no sense in staying at such an outdated place where people have a point of view like in medieval times.

WTF?! What kind of high school are you going to?
And the next entry in the "student-handbook" was: "Don´t believe the evolutionary theory, it is a lie. Darwin was a sinner. If you believe it, you must burn in hell." lol
I bet they are all creationists.

However.
Don´t tell anyone in this weird school about being lesbian/gay - it might end up in a catastrophe.
Keep it for yourself or talk to your former friends about it.
It´s a foreseeable time you´re spending there, after your graduation you´ll be free and able to live the way you like.
Or change school like >>4 said.

Anyways, you´re a surprising person, you are able to modify your gender within seonds. You switch from being "lesbian" to "gay" back to "lesbian" within one post Xp

Typical of a strict religious school, if you don't adhere to all of the beliefs you are wrong.

I hate very religious people, as they are very hypocritical. They say they are better than anyone else, but they are dicks and rude in real life.

I am religious, but am smart enough to know that the bible is not the true word of god, since it was rewritten more times than I can count.

Try switching schools if possible. If not you might have to bite your tongue till your out of there.

Thanks guys for the input. I have been debating what to do for ages, and I needed outside advice.

@ Laputa, I agree I should weigh the benefits and downfalls of each option.

@ k0, thanks for the encouragement! I needed to hear that, badly.

@ Kyouka, I would change my school, but the other schools nearby are awful, academically speaking. Thanks for the help, too!

@ Chronos, I get what you're saying about the possible disaster that could come from this. By the way, I'm a girl but to me gay and lesbian are fairly interchangeable.

@ Sid, I am also religious, Christian to be exact, but the personal conflictions with my sexuality and my beliefs are another topic. Thanks for the input as someone who is religious!

God~hates~fags~!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXhrQplefhE
I found your school anthem lol

However.
I see. If you want to stay there, then don´t talk about being lesbian. Really, don´t do it. Not there, not with persons who aren´t open-minded enough for such a topic. Your life will become hell, if you do.
Just hang in there!
You managed it until now, you can also manage it until graduation!

>>8 Chronos, really, "god hates fags" is misplaced here, unless you want to provoke someone.

>>7 I also believe that you will manage it! Stay strong!
You can join some LGBT communities and talk with someone online when you feel lonely.

>>9 You´re misinterpreting my post, potato.

Problems are only problems because we see them as problems. Look at the world in a more humorous way and half of your worries will vanish immediately.
Just imagine all those "super-Christians" singing "God hates fags" every morning after they woke up. Wouldn´t it be a funny imagination?
It will help our OP to see herself surrounded by close-minded, stupid faggots, not worth recognition, instead of troubeling herself because of their strange point of view of homosexuality and herself not fitting into their concept.

There is no way coming out wouldn't end up horribly in a place like that, especially because it seems like you dont have any friends yet, so it would be totally you vs everyone. And even your friends you woukd make at that shool would probably just get into more trouble.
As someone else already said, changing schools is an option. You said there are no good schools nearby but imo it would be worth it anyways.
Another option is just going through your current school, making friends but not telling them about your sexuality and probably being romatically and/or sexually frustrated most of the time.
You could also just kinda go to the school for the school and ignore the social aspects and then go out and like take up a hobby or something, just meet people unrelated to your school.

Also, >>a few people here
It doesnt matter that they are idiots, people judge for lesser things than sexuality. As long as everyone around you is telling you something is wrong with you, you will evetually start to believe it or question yourself.

>>Just curious, why did you not tell your parents?

@ akako

I didn't tell my parents about my sexuality because they too are pretty damn homophobic. My dad is pretty chill, but he doesn't understand that being gay isn't just about having sex, but it's a romantic and emotional thing too. My mom is just awful about it all. She is so personally disgusted and offended by homosexuality that she talks about it the same way someone talks about having AIDS or some other STD.

When I leave the house in around 2 years, I'll be honest about everything. I'll be distanced, living thousands of miles away, and won't be so connected to my parents anymore.

I'm from Italy and homosexual too. I have the same problems with homosexuality and religion.
My family is very religious and not open for homosexuals. Everyone is catholic. My family is very strict. I have a lesbian aunt and nobody talks with or about her.
I sufferd a lot because of my sexuality in the past and tried to become straight. Then I found a friend who said similar things like >>10 said. It's not me who is bad, it's the people who do not understand that I am not a bad person because of my sexuality who are bad. This friend also said to me that I should laugh of them because they are not intelligent when they treat homosexuals like bad people. It helps me very much. I can see everything in an other way now and do not worry a lot. But I do not tell my family about being gay. I'm still afraid what will happen next.