alright so, theres this guy ive been dating for a year now, hes.. much, much, older than me, there for has been married, and has a kid, while im still trying to get through highschool. i love him a lot but, i cant stop thinking about his ex-wife, and how hot and pretty and woman like she is compared to me. she has big breasts and curvy hips and thick long hair, and light blemish free skin.. so many other traits i cant talk about. well.. it just keeps getting to me, that i will never be as good as her. i hate it. its eating me from the inside. no matter how many encouraging animes i watch, i cant get over it. its been 7 years since they were together and he hates her, doesnt even know her any more. but i cant get over it. what do i do

finish high school first?! and college if that's what you want to do, but omg get your own self settled in your own skin first.
Also I severely doubt his integrity as an adult for even allowing this??

if this is even remotely in the realm of actual love worthy of long term commitment, it'll survive the years necessary for you to become an adult first.

if what you have right now would get him arrested if brought up in court, then break it up.

it's not even a question of comparison to the ex when it's first of all a question of if this is even allowed. also if he actually cares, then looks shouldn't matter that much.

i'm seriously doubting his decisions as an adult though.

>wtfdude thanks.. well... that kind of really doesnt help my problem, i just want a way to cope, y'know? i mean, we are over a decade apart, and ppl say that age doesnt matter when its love. im not going to finish highschool becuase i will turn 18 the summer before senior year. its really hard.. becuase all ive never wanted since i was a kid was freedom and independance. ive always wanted to go to college and get my own apartment and live on my own. and he comes into my life, and we fall in love with eachother, and its been a year now, he helped me through so many hard times, helped me out of them. and i dont want to leave him. and then there are things like finding out about his wife and kid, hes had sex over 300 times, and im still a virgin.. hes even hired paysluts, im not even in his league.. and i look at her face, the one picture of her from years ago, and even tho she doesnt hace the right hair color her hairs long and flowing, even tho she doesnt have the right eye color, her eyes pierce you like ice, and her skins like fresh snow. and i look at myself, and i see freckles and scars and dumb mucky hazel eyes and tan worn skin and a flat figure, and halfway big boobs, and small lips, and a square chin, square teeth with no gap, and a small not even good butt like cmon god y couldnt u even just give me that ;o; and im only a teenager, and i dont even look good like one.. in my relationship before this, it wasnt even a relationship but, the guy i chased after, i didnt even get to see his face, it was like a fight between this one girl and me for his attention, and he always sided with her and it made me so frustraited, because he chose a woman over a girl, and i tried so hard, but i never won, he just kept lying to me. and i loss so much self confidance during that, n man, i just want to look hot like she was thats all ; ; i just want to look good and i always look at her and beat myself up how am i good enough how do i even qualify and i try but i have so many expectations and so many limitations that i cant do my best i cant look good i cant go to the gym every day or buy cite clothes or eat super healthy i cant get down to atleast 120 im stuck in the middle at 140, and ever week it drops or rises by 5 and im to tall and i cant make my boobs any bigger and i cant make my butt any rounder, i cant cut off fat and i cant add it either and as stupid as it sounds i mixed bleach with shampoo today to try and make my pubes blonde cuz he loves blonde hair he wont even make me shave and theyre so dark and ugly, and my hair i died it red before i met him and i cant die it back so i dont have blonde hair either he alwys says she doesnt look good because she died her blonde hair black and fuck theres so much.. i wish he could say something to make me feel better, but thats "girly" and its annoyign when i talk about how i hate myself and he just stops talkign to me i wish he could see me as beautiful or soemthign idk im just totally fucked cuz im a piece of shit

Haha you even addmited yourself that your a crap fucking cunt, get fucking over with and stop seeking a fairy tail (im not in his league because he can pay an escort) ofc hes a fucking man, we work we try hard and reward ourself. By the way

Lower your standarts it might work wonders

wow honestly it doesn't sound worth it and its not worth dropping school for some guy because you screw up your own future for what? if it doesn't work out. And he's immature if he is with someone like a decade younger than him... people say age doesn't matter but does that mean a prison cell is just a room? and if he cant see you for the way you are and its not good enough don't try and change yourself. get rid of him. I know none of this helps or is what you want to read but you'll only feel worse if you stay around someone who you cant feel good enough for.

thanks >Human