Hi, I'm a person that wants to remain anonymous because I don't want my boyfriend to be overlooking when I check the answers, if I receive any to this thread.
When I was younger, I was molested by mother's boyfriend. I don't really like being referred to as "beautiful" or "pretty" by people because it reminds me that he only did the things he did to me because I was pretty. I won't lie, I still have night terrors of being molested. It terrifies me. And whether my asexuality extends from that or not, the fact of the matter is that I cannot stand the thought or act of sex.
Recently, my boyfriend hasn't been sleeping well. I wanted to know why and how I could help. After a couple minutes of him avoiding the subject, I dropped it. A couple days later, he tells me why. He's been having nightmares because he dreams of doing the act with me, only to have it ending with me kicking and thrashing. He's having nightmares because I won't sleep with him. He then proceeded to talk about how we should move in together and our future. I was sitting there having a silent attack and kept thinking about everything that he said. And as soon as I think I should break up with him and make things better for him health wise, I remember that he told me sister that if I broke up with him, he would kill himself. I tried talking to this with my therapist, whom I am seeing for anxiety and depression. He simply thinks I'm unhappy, I believe.
Frankly, I'm at a point where I'm stuck. I know I'm in a bad situation, but the situation could get worse if I leave.

I hope you've been honest with your boyfriend about your situation. I think if he really cares a lot about you then I hope he'd be fine waiting for you to be ready for sex/ being fine not having sex in his relationship.

I'm no expert but talking to him and being very honest about your emotions with each other is always a good thing in relationships.

>>2 I have been trying. He gets angry and upset with me and makes me drop the subject. He never gets physical or anything, just fumes like a child until he gets his way.

How old are you two? (this is so important and almost nobody on this board says it...)
How is your intimacy other than sex? Do you WANT to hold hands, kiss, just spend time together for no good reason, staying closer together when walking, do you geniunely want to know how his day was etc. and do you two DO this kind of things?
How is it with trust? Are you comfortable just talking about your problems with him? More importantly, does it come naturally to you to just talk about even the things your arent happy about?

It would be nice if you tried saying something about his personality normally.

Also, there won't probably be an easy solution either way.