I don't wanna say I have anger issues, I've seen them and I don't think I'm that level. But..

I don't how to control my anger.

It's not raging to vessel breaking levels, but like. I get pissed off at things that I think warrant it, but. I can't.. Control it, y'know?

I feel horrible every time I insult someone, yell at them, or just anything. Like I'm the most useless thing in existence, and tbh I am if you knew me.

The reason is, is that I had a special person who changed my life more than I could ever imagine, and could ever express in words, someone who didn't have to even say hello to me, but she did anyway. She's gone now, so I live to do her proud by her teachings, I guess. One of which was how to control my anger, something that was out of control when I was younger, but now in my adult life it's become something much more different.

I've mellowed out drastically, such as never getting physical anymore, but the rage I have is still there, but in a different form, you could say.
It's less of a punch someone in the face if they bumped into me when I was 15, and now more of a go-to filter on a situation. It doesn't completely take over immediately, but it's hard to remain calm when the situation is already tinted red, and your anger just keeps growing by the second.

I dunno if it's something engraved in me from past experiences, and I don't think so, but. Ugh, I really hate myself when I get there. Like I'm insulting her by the second in that state, y'know..

All I'm asking, is just.. What do I do. I KNOW I can control myself in situations, even if I'm utterly infuriated. I know it's possible. I just don't know how.


I'm only here because I just calmed down from being pissed off, and I have hurt someone close to me that I would never want to as long as I live. I'm devastated and disgusted with myself, and I've been trying to tell them that, but I can't blame them if they don't exactly believe me..
I've tried every method I've been told, but it doesn't do anything, I can't control my emotions very well. It sucks and it's driving me insane how stupid I am.

Hello 9Ball, i'm not the best person for help anybody, and i'm not very strong for that. I read your thread, i don't really know what i should say. There was a period when i was sometimes angry too. Try to relax youself, or tell with a psy, a profesional, or good relatives, and take your time for that, don't hurry yourself. I just thought you feel little better if you knew that a person had read your thread with serious. I hope you will feel better and your problems will leave.
(sorry for my english, it's not my language.)

i myself deal with a lot of the same issues you are describing and i know how rough it is hurting the people you care about...

My advice to you is to try recognizing when you are getting more angry and just remove yourself from the situation/conversation before it gets to an uncontrollable level. It can be a little awkward to yell "i have to go right now but i'll be back" and storm off for a few minutes for some deep breaths etc., but i think that mentality has saved me from a lot of situations that could've easily ruined a relationship or lead to physical violence.

Hope you found this helpful! I wish you the best of luck going forward.