But I'm afraid of what life is gonna hold for me after highschool. I know what I want to do, but life is so random and cruel.

You have two choices: work once you're out, or go to college.

Personally, I believe college is the better choice. One, because that little piece of paper does make a difference. Two, It's great in college (I'm currently a college student). Make friends, join clubs, party, girls/boys everywhere (just be safe), freedom. It's like a tutorial before real real life hits you.

Don't sweat the small stuff. In college everyone is where you are, some, more or less than you. Trust me, life is cruel, but at least you have people who will help you back up and can understand your point of view. College is where some of the friends you make are friends for life. As the saying goes, work hard, play hard.

I'm scared, too. Just because I know everything will be predictable and miserable for sure, and I'm too afraid to try to do anything about that. I don't even know what I want to do, other than living alone in the depths of the forest caring for my plants and befriending woodland creatures, yet my entire life as already been mapped out by my mom. I can;t imagine life beyond high school. It'll all be so boring, a story I know all the twists of.

There's not much to be scared of to be honest. IT feels like it, believe me, but as long as you have a lot of help, it will turn out alright. I never finished high school (several reasons) and I still work. If I can do it, you can too.