Sometimes there are things I just wanna talk about but can't because I'm afraid people will get overly worried when it's just something I wanna vent without consequence. Pretty sure some other people might feel the same way, so if you have something you wanna get off your chest without someone calling a therapist on you, this thread might be a good place to do that.

Anyways, sometimes I just don't wanna live anymore. I'm not really suicidal or anything, but I just get really friggin tired of everything. I have a very good life and most of my problems are my own fault, but I just can't seem to do any better. I wish I could change just by wanting it. Haven't been on Dollars in a while, but I'm hoping there's a community out there that can sympathize. Just wanted to put it out there.

Well then I guess I'll take a crack at it

I've always been stuck in my head daydreaming and one little fucked up scenario I like to play in my head is "What if someone gave me a gun and forced me to shoot my parents and/or myself". My parents are lovely people sometimes but other than that they've really screwed things over for themselves and me. So I sometimes wonder if I were forced to shoot them, would I give them a quick merciful death or would I make it slow and agonising just so they'd have a taste at what I've felt all my life. As for myself, I've embraced and flirted with death before so I don't think I would mind shooting myself if I had no other choice. Like you've said, being alive is really fucking exhausting sometimes.