So I am completely fucking horriable at talking in front of people. Public speaking. Yeah, thats a better way to say it...
I mumble, jumble up my words, and I can't even face the people I'm talking to.
My dad was a debater and doesn't really understand that I really do try to speak 'correctly'. since he was good at public speaking, I'm expected to be as well.
I need help. I don't want to be sent to another public speaking class 'cause that did absolutely nothing to help me, but apparently my dad thinks otherwise. Any advice?

Just be yourself. Your dad doesn't know who you are. You do. If you don't want to be on public speaking (I had panic attacks when someone forces me to do public speaking), it your choice. Instead, find your passion as something else than a public speaker.

First of all, I want to say that you're not alone on this. I empathize with you on a whole other level when it comes down to it. For me though, I find that it was always the timeframe leading up to the presenting- or speaking moment, rather than the actual instant itself that I dubbed as the absolute worse. I always fed it to seem as though such a menial large task than it deserved to be, I would sometimes contemplate missing out on the entire event together if the bitter taste lasted long enough.

But there was something I was uncertain of while reading through your post. I understand that public speaking is something you find yourself 'terrible' at, but is it something that you dislike? In other words, do you dislike public speaking as a whole or just the anxiousness it brings? Is public speaking something you still want to surround yourself with?- disregarding your jitters and your father's stance for a moment.

With that in mind, I want to reassure you that public speaking is a skill- similar to cooking. It's a skill that you build up- whether that be in a passive manner or more direct approach. Some people have it far well off than we do. They have natural charisma, a charming smile, while we're not so much to even compare. But that doesn't mean we can't become just as good as them or even better, don't forget; "hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard". It will just take us unique individuals a bit longer, but nothing impossible.

One of the best public speakers of modern times, who comes to mind? For me- and I'm sure numerous would agree, it's the former CEO of Apple, Steve Jobs. He was able to give presentations like none other, keeping people on edge- acting as though he came up with what to say right before he said it, giving the audience a livelihood of a performance to endure. He had no script in hand while he paced at a comfortable rhythm across the podium in his signature tattered jeans and black shirt, neither did he have flashcards. It was just himself and his remote- and the substantial sized screen flicking through his inventions situated behind him. But would you believe me if I told you that Jobs himself was an amateur speaker at best? In fact, I'd go as far to say that he is human (shocking). He panicked- he mumbled and jumbled his words while driving the criss crossed roads to the keynote, he was frustrated just like us, but he always nailed it in the end. That's because he practiced. In articles floating around the web it's said that Jobs- forgive me if I'm incorrect, would practice his speech weeks before the actual moment. He would walk around the house studying the script he had prepared himself for the hour long presentation coming in weeks due.

If you couldn't grab it yet, the advise I have for you to become better and improve at public speaking; you just have to practice. But not only that you also have to believe in yourself, fake your confidence until you are confident if you have to, forget the world and enjoy yourself on stage. Really, enjoy yourself. The stage is now your home- your terrain, conquer it. Put yourself in the seats of the people that are watching you- would you care if the presenter made a few mistakes or slurs? No, it's not a big deal despite what your brain is telling you. No one knows your script, no one knows what you're going to say next, so don't beat yourself up for a few flaws and errors. And even if your flaws end up becoming more than just 'a few', don't give up. Finish that presentation with your artificial confidence and awkward smile until the very end, give a full bow and walk off the stage proud that you even managed to get up there. As for looking at your audience, don't force yourself to look straight at them at first if you can't. Try looking right at their foreheads or even a bit above, shift your gaze from section to section and it will give off the illusion of engagement (don't forget moderate hand movement for emphasis). Envision as though you're having a conversation with someone who you hold dear. And if all goes to hell, just remember that once you walk off that stage no one is even going to remember and you will never see them again.

No one cares- that may seem terrible but did you really care when someone- other than your best friend, gave a presentation at your high school? middle school? Unless you were actually psyched about the subject, probably not. No one cares, so don't overwhelm yourself with negative thoughts. You can do this, mate. You are capable. You just need a little push from yourself. Practice, and be as consistent as possible with giving public speeches- or atleast surround yourself with it regularly even if you aren't presenting. I promise you'll get better and blow others out of the waters.

You're here, now. You're capable of more than you can imagine. Don't berate yourself, go ahead and stumble through life. No one's perfect, mumble and jumble a few words but don't ever give up. Just remember, it's all right to be afraid it means you're about to do something extremely brave.

Life and it's skills are just levels to a massive game, some levels are more difficult than others and will make you hit 'restart' more frequent, but it's not impossible. It just takes us a little while. Be yourself, take a deep breathe, practice, be consistent- be involved, be surrounded, don't compare yourself, you're you- not your father- not Steve Jobs, you're you. You're here, now. That's all that matters. You can do this.

>>2>>3 Thanks for writing something to help with my problem.

I wish I could choose not to speak in front of a crowd, but to my dismay its not optional for me.
And to answer []'s question, I dislike public speaking due to the anxiety that comes with it and the fact that people will pay attention to what I'm saying.

Again, thank you both for writing something to help with my problem!

>>5

You're absolutely welcome! Also, don't think of it as a problem mate! You're just inexperienced, is all. The real problem doesn't lie in your public speaking skills- those are just underdeveloped, the real issue here is dealing with your inner critic and the pressure of others anchoring their attention to you.

Think of it in a positive light, if you're unable to escape it don't fight it half-willed. Each presentation you come out of will make you a stronger, better intellectual- and speaker. You're only route here is success. Embrace that- even if each inch of your body is coiling and wishes to disappear into oblivion. Prove yourself wrong- make the impossible, possible.

Once again, practice, practice, practice what you're going to speak about. You can never over-prepare, but under-preparing will only do you harm than good. And while you're at it don't take it too seriously- life goes on, mate. This is just another stage that you'll pass through and realize, "Huh, that wasn't as bad as I made it out to be". You're gaining EXP to level up your public speaking skill-set, and little by little with each forced effort you'll become more outstanding. I guarantee it.

Whenever I become too overwhelmed with the real world I take a moment to myself and remember that I am just a floating piece of dust on this massive plane filled with rocks, tree, and large masses of land and water. The world doesn't revolve around myself unless I make it seem to be, so my advice is to not make it a big deal. Take a deep breathe, you'll get through this. At the end of day we all have our own problems- shift the attention away from yourself and remember that once the lights go out, everyone has something better to think of besides a few mumbles and jumbles we all live through as humans. Good luck with everything, mate! Have a good one! Clear your mind and don't stress yourself out, you got this!

With public speaking, it's just a matter of working up the confidence to speak in front of others. It may be hard, but just take time to focus on being confident. Plus, keeping a cool, calm mind helps out too

>>6
OH MY GOSH YOU'RE SUCH A NICE PERSON AND AMAZING AT MOTIVATING PEOPLE I REALLY CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH
>>7
Even though I'm trying to build up my confidence, it really isn't much still. But yeah, keeping a level-head about things would probably make it easier! Thanks!

>>7

Yes, this is sound advice. Present yourself as being confident, at first it will be unnatural- but once again, this is all in your head and if you can fake it, you'll make it at some point. Flash a welcoming smile, stand straight and relaxed, keep your mind cool and collected, drink water (take a bottle on stage with you if you can and drink it during your short pauses through your speech), take deep breathes (this is important, otherwise you may experience choking on words or hearing a sort of tremor in your voice). Before you give your speech I also recommend working to get out the excess build up of energy that stems from anxiousness and causes you to jitter. You can do a few stretches, run around the building- whatever to get you feel more loosened because enjoying the stage will help you through a tremendous amount.

I occasionally give lessons at the church that I attend. My advice would be: Go forth and display complete and utter confidence, and go with whatever comes out of your mouth. It has worked for me in the past.

But like all things, confidence usually comes through experience, and is really hard to project at first. So, the best I can do for you is to wish you luck.

my bro gave me advice when i took a speech class. everyone in that class is there for a reason, they all need help. so don't be afraid of taking a class. and last but not least be confident. when delivering speeches you are the only one with the knowledge to inform the audience. That is where you build your confidence.

I don't know if this helps, but I'm a pretty introverted person who's always been nervous about public speaking. The way I view it is that if I mess up while speaking, or do a bad job, or whatever, people will remember me badly -- and for an introvert like myself, that's pretty much the worst possible outcome. So in a weird way, my lack of confidence actually inspires me to be confident: if messing up leads to my worst fear, then it's that fear which makes me sound confident. I know this is very much easier said than done, so maybe the best thing to do is to remind yourself that something kinda wrong said confidently is probably more impressive than something kinda right said weakly. Like I said, no idea if this helps, but it sorta works for me. I hope things get better for you!