I don't know if this is actually a bad thing or not but I want everything to have a lot of meaning in it, maybe even too much.

So for example, with saying things like thank you, sorry, or giving compliments I feel like they lose all of their meaning if you say them so much. Like getting complimented by someone ho compliments everyone all the time just doesn't mean much, but if it's someone who rarely says things like that it means so much more to you. And with the whole being polite thing, saying sorry or thank you is more of a small social ritual, and rarely has much significance behind it anymore. I still follow it around strangers and act polite, but it can be hard to do it around people I know because of how little it really means.

I don't know how much sense that made but that was just an example and not what I was here to talk about. The thing that I feel like this applies he most to is my approach to things like friends and other people. I've become someone who's not interested in having many friends and instead would rather just have one person who I become really really close to. There would be such a clear and significant difference between us and everyone else to each other that it's like we almost just one person.

Is it selfish or weird to just want to have one person who is that close to you? I should also clarify that none of this has anything to do with the factor of love, I don't mean physically close I mean close as in that we know each other well and would be similar and see each other a lot, or something like that.

But I guess I'm starting to have my doubts about thinking this way. I do want things to be really really significant, which is why I prefer not to have a bunch of shallow and unreal relationships and "friends", but there's no clear way to find someone who could be that one person I'm close to. If that kind of thing does happen it's usually from being childhood friends and having a past, or by being twins or somethimg, so it probably isn't very likely to happen later on in life is it?

I guess to continue on from there I'm not entirely sure what I should do about this, and if there's anything I should change to my way of viewing and approaching this. I guess the factor of chance causes things to have the most significance, because the chance of meeting that perfect someone in a world like this seems impossible, making it so much more meaningful and significant when it hapens. So is that how my views on this have to end? Is what makes something truly significant and meaningful the fact that it rarely happens to anyone? It's a little sad to think about but quite beautiful in a way.

So what are other people's thoughts on this? Is it bad to want things to have too much significance and meaning? Is there something I'm missing or an option I haven't considered yet? Or is there just anything interesting anyone has to say about anything somewhat related to this?

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to find something that holds a lot of significance to you. Like you said, I think a lot of significance does naturally come from random chance and rarity - something that's good to recognize, since you're able to appreciate those things when they happen before they can pass you by. And they do pass by eventually, even if they're significant to you. If you wouldn't put your life savings into a slot machine, don't let random chance hold your happiness hostage either.

There's a lot of significance to be found in insignificant things anyways. Just because someone says hello to you every day out of social convention doesn't mean it isn't significant that you're both in the same place at the same time and have somehow stomached each other long enough to carry out the same routine for long enough to question its significance to you. Is that enough to live a fulfilled life? No, probably not, unless you're an optimist.

So don't settle, but don't discredit anything because it isn't quite what you dream about. I've done that before, and really it just shuts you out of opportunities that could get you closer to what you really want. And hey, if they don't but you can still derive something interesting from the person or experience, then I'd say that's time well spent.

This is pretty interesting beceause this is basically my way of thinking which I've started doubting just yesterday. Honestly, my life has been pretty weird and sometime along the line I've just kinda started relying on coincidences. And it actually works for the most part so I guess it won't change.
I also dislike the social small talk. Actually, I refused to greet people until my parents beat me for not greeting anyone. It just seems pointless. And honestl, it pretty much is. Some people will automatically think you're an asshole if you don't greet them tho. I guess you wouldn't want to be friends with those people anyway, but there are people you just have to be polite to for your own good. I guess you already know that too tho. And I totally agree sorrys and thank yous are being overused these days.
Honestly, its not bad to want only a few close friends. I mentioned the thing with coincidences because I actually got lucky and met two people like you describe, one of which only like half a year ago. The thing is, the first one moved away and the other one I've met on the internet and never lived anywhere nearby in the first place. (Also, 7 hours timezone difference so much.) It isn't like that kind of thing could break that kind of relationship, but I think you can understand that it changes things a bit. I basically ended up having nobody to talk to during school and stuff and ocassionaly waking up at midnight to respond to someone who lives in a dumb timezone. What I am trying to get is that even if you do meet someone like that, there are still many other things that have to happen afterwards. I am not saying you should be satisfied with well, bad friends. What I am saying is... Hmm... you have to find something that works consistently. I can't really talk much about it because I have the same problem and if I knew how to solve it I would've done so already. Idk, I guess what >>2 says is somewhat reasonable.

Of course meaning is important. I agree that it's good to dose things, to make them more special. Like if you love someone, don't give them presents all the time, just once in a while, they'll appreciate the gesture more.

Then, I have contacts/friends, closer friends.. But secretly, I'm also hoping to meet one person with whom I can be friends forever, like ying and yang, partners in crime, explorers of the world and of life. Someone with whom I can be totally honest because all we want to do is explore each other in an out, know the possibilities of our personality in good and in bad, and just have some fun with life. And I'm not talking about a love relationship, either. Just pure honesty.

>>1 Maybe one day we'll meet, and become exactly that kind of duo, without ever knowing we discussed it here ;)