(I apologize for my bad english and the possible grammar mistakes)

I'm a teenager and I constantly need the approval of others I know it sounds pathetic but I'm not satisfied with my own flesh. Lately, no matter how much people try to cheer me up it just doesnt work, I've always been shy and anxious but now it's getting worse I just cant look at people in the eye even my own teachers it feels like I'm been judged.
I've been in this school for a long time so I know a lot of people but my 'squad' is very limited plus our friendship is toxic they get mad at everything and blame me for their faults. I'm on holiday rn and I feel out with A, she's 'friend jealous' and wants me to be her personal pet which pîsses me off, we were chatting on facebook and she sent me a dry 'K' I ignored it and I didnt continue the conversation with her any further then 5min later she started writing in capital letters abt how I dont care enough about her and I didnt ask why she was 'mad' and I didnt try to interpret her K and bs. I was like gurl chill and she said that I was jealous of her marks bcz it was the day we got our results she was 1st and I was (temporary bcz my shitty school made a mistake in one my marks so technically i got a better mark) 2nd
Anyway what do you guys think about this ?

ok so my name was supposed to be aki and the title Friends they say, my bad

(8th ligne: I fell out with A*)

8th line**

i think its good that you got yourself out of that friendship and the falling out benefits both of you, trust me.
it sounded like she had major insecurity issues and wanted to purposefully keep you for herself, she wanted someone to feel "inferior" around her to make herself feel better. that would have made your anxiety worse, and you would never be able to get over your shyness.
in turn, if she were to stay with you, she would have thought that she wasn't doing anything wrong. people like her need a lot of self-reflection where they have to realize themselves that they were the problem. they dont listen to anyone but themselves. hopefully she learned something when you guys fell out.
i hope you get better too

At one point I realised that my group of 'friends' didn't really give a shit about me so I cut my ties with them and stopped talking to them altogether I didn't explain to them y I did this etc. But I started to hang out with people that I New liked me for me and I could truly be myself around them, it was truly worth it. And also whenever I see my old 'friends around school etc. E feel really awkward because they still tend to grrr me etc. Like they're friends too . But I still think my decision was the right one, I don't quite know if what I've said counts as advise or just me ranting on but I hope it helps in some way or another.

update : It continued getting worse. I'm still a part of a chatroom with all of my friends. A still ignores me and others act normal but I know that they're aware of what happened this is why they're cold and harsh. Whenever I have a fight with A I become an outsider she once got mad because I said that I liked the same celebrity as her She threw a tantrum because I posted a joke about his cheekbones. the next day at school everyone ignored me We had a break and I went to talk to those girls when A was in the bathroom I thought that everything was normal but they lowkey bullied me making fun of me. Things only got better when I apologized to A for this stupid thing that wasnt even my fault.
Anyway they just started talking in the chatroom about what they're going to do when they go out. The place they're going to is one block away from me and they chose it to torture me or sth.
Most of us will quit the school we're in so this is basically the last year we have togheter I wanted to have a good time and treasure it but I don't care anymore Being alone won't make me lonely I can change my place be an outsider but I wont stay a minute longer in this toxic friendship.

>>5>>4 Thanks for your help

I see two problems here. The first one being the people you hang out with. If someone goes on a full on rant about how you ignored their "K" then you are wasting your time with these people. The second being your confidence. You should realize that you matter in this world and shouldn't have to put up with anyone's BS. I'd suggest finding new friends who are positive. As the kind of people you hang out with reflects the kind of person will be. Like I said, find some positive friends and most of your troubles will go away. If you have any difficulty I am willing to be that friend, just hit me up and'll try my best to brighten your day :)